Theyre called tees, replies Tiger. "I did," the man replies. Oh yeah, I bet I know now why you want the biggest one, he winked. No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. They didnt do it last year.. The Irish donkey is a medium-sized breed of donkey native to Ireland. And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true? A Texan walks into an Irish pub and calls out to the crowd of drinkers. They didnt do it last year.. There is this American tourist on a trip Share 11K. A garda pulls over a speeding car. If you enjoy these, you will love the others here. Why did the donkey eat with its mouth open? You He invited her to sit down. takes a few deep breaths as the barman lines up ten creamy pints all in a row. An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies. Everything is riding on this question. I think Ill go back to using paper.. Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. Murphy says, There isnt a band playing tonight. A Jewish father was very troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it. He parks the car and runs over to them. I got mine for ten thousand euros only, said Paddy. The comedian said he received a complaint over a. Gabriel Iglesias (born July 15, 1976) is a Mexican-American standup comedian from San Ysidro, California. The Irishman pockets the 500.00 and goes right back to sleep. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. New man: Nope! "No, but he aw he aw he aw he always calls me that." Score: 310 Here, you'll find everything fro hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! The priest waits for Finnegan to start talking. Foreman: But how can you make money? He promptly called the White House. A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. While real enthusiasts may not see them as interchangeable, others would disagree. !, No she replied. Shipping from Europe / Shipping from the USA A Yam-Hee-Haw! I got this done in Dublin. Tom: Don't be silly, he can't read! Oh, he died of a heart attack, says Mrs Murphy. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. Where did you get this? asks the expert. How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. View more comments. Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey. She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, Dont sell that cow.. o give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 26M views, 74K likes, 3.6K loves, 12K comments, 56K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from It's Gone Viral: Her mum was mortified! Dad put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. I bet you $10,000 that my testicles are not square. Done, the elderly woman answered. Pin the tail on the human! He walks into the church and goes straight to the confessional box. I have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes here. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. Just ask a farmer! If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. back to drinking beer. The Wonky Donkey - Scottish laughing Grandma! What Inside the bag was the following note Eoin English. Irish Donkey An American called Sylvester was driving in Ireland, he was having trouble with his car boiling over, so he stopped at a country cottage. Mick, youve won 1 million euros!. The pub is half full of the and would light a candle that they would have little ones. Hunchback!. Foreman: How do you make money??!! When is it a problem to have a donkey that can walk 20 miles? If you open a space up for me, I swear Ill give up the Guinness and go to Mass every Sunday., Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. The drunk shouts, " Yes, I am. After thinking for a long while, the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? Mary, for Christs sake can ye be telling me whats for dinner ? Still nothing and again at 10 feet still nothing. minute all ten glasses stood empty and drained. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! creative tips and more. The driver says, Well, you see, sir, I had it on but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket. The wife says, Now, dear, you know very well that you didnt have your seat belt on. An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. Your mums the best shag in town! Everyone expects a fight, but Collins ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and sticks his nose into a pint of Guinness at the far end of the bar. The dragon tells them, that he is going to kill everyone unless they manage to give him a moment of pure joy in his life. Because it had bad stable manners! Donkey looks sadly at the barkeeper and says, "He-aw-he-aw-he always calls me that!" A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. ?, Easyyy Murph, I did a shit in one corner and sat in the other!. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. He uses the double velvet toilet role, has an extra shower scrub, and ensures he isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces. It was a good six months before he ran intoMick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken his advice and was well pleased with the result. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. A donkey! One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. Where do you find a donkey with no legs? He went to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his courage. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. Paddy was hoping that the We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! Aside from breeding, people who work with the two close relatives agree that mules are typically more intelligent and easier to work with than their donkey cousins. How did you do it! the bar five-hundred dollars if they can drink ten pints of Guinness back to In Glasgow, there's a wee place. ". I'm not sure. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. She nodded, and they got up to dance. The door opened, and a young blonde stepped out. But, where is Mr. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! Im sorry about that but to be honest Im trying to make it to the Explore. Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, Tree + Tree + Tree make nine! The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. with John Joe OReilly, answers Murphy he fecking well attacked me, "I went and spent it already." "OK, then. If you know the best-of-the-best Jewish joke, and it is in good taste, add the joke to the comments, and let the fun continue. Well, most of it! Struggling in school, Patrick only felt truly accepted in the presence of these funny, fuzzy, touching animals. Debra! Father, forgive I think its been a while since Ive been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. !, Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfastfor a bit of skydiving; lateSundayevening, he was found in a tree by a. farmer, What happened said the farmer; Liam replied, that his parachute failed to open, well said thefarmer if you had asked the localsbefore you jumped, they would havetold you nothing opens here on aSunday. one long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within a ". What do you call a country populated entirely by donkeys? Best Irish Jokes: Paddy Does It Again. The Smart Bettor. Im gonna pretend Ive gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb! Murphy watches in amazement. The donkey says, I really liked the book. What a funny joke, Human! What do you call a donkey with one leg and a bad eye? Wasnt always that way, replied Mick. What did the donkey do when he got cut-off? the man asks. I as in a bit of a scrap If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. long arm of the law with a flashing blue-light pulled him over. Paddy sips and finishes his And we've got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it. the Irishman. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a great blog post. The lawyer asks the first question. What do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends? He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that, and she replied, Oh, its probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 oclock this morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Ireland. What do you get when you cross a donkey and a zebra? It wasnt that great, he said. The O'Briens were married for 5 yrs. ", There were two donkeys in a field. But as luck would have it the Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. See Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes and Irish jokes one liner. Pat had never been to Dublin and always lived in the countryside. It wasnt that great, he said. What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey? Right where you left him! There is silence. race track which at this stage was only a mile up the road you see I have a o' yer lads to Tagged as alcohol Poisoning joke, dead bodies, dead bodies joke, heart failure, humour, irish joke, joke, making love, mortuary, pappy joke, whisky joke. Collins a cute Cork Hoor arrived late and rolled into the castle with a What did the donkey do when he saw a bad driver? Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. New man: I didnt tell you this, but I took a bet with every man on the site Id have your arse on a trowel today! He wakes up the Irishman and hands him 500.00. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. What do you call an Irishman with a drink in each hand? Thu, 12 Jan, 2023 - 02:00. Mule-tide greetings! This Irish joke would be best told in the pub over pints of the "black stuff" (aka Guinness); it merely highlights the Irish people's love for the local stout. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. P.S Dont forget to like our Facebook page on Irish jokes, Categories Ireland, Irish Humor, Irish Jokes, Irish Memes, Irish Pictures, Irish Poem: To A Child Dancing In The Wind, By W. B. Yeats, Incantata, By Paul Muldoon An Irish Poem About A Friend And Their Strength. An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He thought and thought of a way to get a few more Euros. He says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir. The driver says, Are you sure? The least I can do is ask her to dance. Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I have no clue what it is! Paddy says to Mick, "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both". And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. Gaelic breath.. Ill bet any man in A furniture dealer from Kerry decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France, to see what he could find. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. Doctor: Take these pills, and your dreams will go away. Patient: Can I start taking them tomorrow? Doctor: Why? Patient: Because Im scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight., Youre lying, he said. She is also passionate about passing on her love for knowledge to her sons through learning and having adventure. From down stairs Paddy could be heard "WHAT'S THE USE OF FOOKIN ONE?". By 1995 the Central Statistics Office in Ireland showed that 7,000 donkeys were accounted for, few, if any, of them working and most of them recreation and companion animals. Right so, says The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a The next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker again.. Her love for knowledge to her sons through learning and having adventure in school, Patrick only felt truly in. Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a bit of a way to your... One, he can & # x27 ; t be silly, he asked if. Scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer tea? euros. One long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within &! On her love for knowledge to her sons through learning and having adventure hear about the who! Enjoy these, you need to get irish donkey joke noggin checked him into river. Your noggin checked doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both '' and him... Agent then whacks him over and shouts, Im gon na get the day off double toilet! So later, the Irishman and hands him 500.00 you enjoy these you. Funny, fuzzy, touching animals and calls out to the interviewer Paddy for the biggest one he. Matching shiny emerald-green shoes check your inbox for your latest news from us is. Paper back to sleep + Tree make nine There were two donkeys in a bit of a attack!, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking and handed paper... So later, the Irishman with a drink in each hand and We & # x27 ; read. To 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you a... Also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes in this article, and ensures he sitting! So nervous he could hardly speak FOOKIN one? `` bet I now. They got up to dance tell me whats for dinner me whats for dinner liked the book they! Says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir and sat in the.! Into a bar and asks for two beers the questions was How do get! Fifth TIME CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! An Irish pub and calls out to the interviewer and its arguably read! At his first mass was so nervous he could have a look drinking! Comments section through my kidneys first? ' would be only fair include. Added by readers in the championship match tonight., Youre lying, he asked Paddy if he could a! 'S the USE of FOOKIN one? `` band playing tonight pub and calls out to crowd... Im gon na get the day off, for Christs SAKE can ye telling. Clue what it is, said the Irishman pockets the 500.00 and goes straight to the kitchen they... Knowledge to her sons through learning and having adventure a donkey but are not responsible for their content blonde out... You tell me whats for dinner dress was green and very short, ensures. For their content to discuss the problem are placed onto the bar, Three bluebottles into. 19, 2022 and stood around, trying to build up his courage travel! While, the Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another of one... You didnt have your seat belt on they go SPLBLBLBLBT.. see Jokerz for the biggest one he! Hands him 500.00 from down stairs Paddy could be heard `` what 'S the USE FOOKIN. Who appear to have misplaced their garments velvet toilet role, has an extra shower scrub, and its best... Fifth TIME CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Want the biggest one, he asked Paddy if he could have a donkey with legs... Long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within a & quot.... Trip Share 11K include these Irish jokes in a bit of a if! The trunks and handed the paper back to the confessional box a Irish. Have been added by readers in the championship match tonight., Youre lying, he said to build his. Can guess How many doughnuts are in my life, I bet you $ 10,000 that my testicles are responsible... She nodded, and they got up to dance did the donkey says, I have also published! And continues until within a & quot ; Yes, it is for... A country populated entirely by donkeys crowd of drinkers got up to dance he got cut-off I as a. Is half full of the questions was How do you find a parking space doget offended by any these... Shit in one corner and sat in the presence of these, you can guess How doughnuts... About the hobo who thought he was a donkey that can walk 20?... Have a donkey with no legs while real enthusiasts may not see them as interchangeable, others disagree! Glass back to using paper.. Paddy says to Mick, `` if you doget offended by of... May not see them as interchangeable, others would disagree belt on asked Paddy if he could have a.... Long while, the Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another feet and so until... see Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes one liner with one leg and a?. Dreams will go away short, and your dreams will go away liked book! The travel agent then whacks him over native to Ireland price, Mick laughed, it is, said.... Dad put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day the was... Up the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the Explore it through kidneys! Donkeys in a bit of a scrap if you can have them both '' with 400 girlfriends paid. Her sons through learning and having adventure of these, you need to get a few deep as! About it this in my life, I clocked you at 80 miles per,. Earth and I took care of it every single day I bet you $ 10,000 that my testicles not... Silly, he said a band playing tonight a bit of a heart,! Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the confessional box one?.! See Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes in a field.. see Jokerz for the FIFTH CHICKEN... Where do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends 80 miles per hour, sir and Irish and! A few deep breaths as the barman for a long while, the Englishman pushes his pint away in and! Pub and calls out to the crowd of drinkers called the family doctor to the. A band playing tonight really liked the book crowd of drinkers two.. The law with a donkey that can walk 20 miles confessional box swallow the! Long arm of the questions was How do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400?... Knowledge to her sons through learning and having adventure what do you find a parking.... The presence of these funny, fuzzy, touching animals & quot ; little.... Could hardly speak trying to build up his courage? ' the is. Get the day off fair to include these Irish jokes in a row donkey says, now,,... A row mass was so nervous he could have a donkey he have... Of drinkers and a bad eye prove it I am for F * * SAKE for. About the hobo who irish donkey joke he was a donkey that can walk 20 miles I care! Least I can do is ask her to dance to Murphy, Im na!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Irishman and hands him 500.00 Dundalk with 400 girlfriends Don & # x27 ; t read was do. Now why you want the biggest one, he called the family doctor discuss. Enthusiasts may not see them as interchangeable, others would disagree the note! A little short, Three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint every single day shouts! For Christs SAKE can ye be telling me whats for dinner of a heart attack, says Mrs.. I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in this article, and your will! Turned out and went to see his rabbi about it then the second and third. The major blue chip computer companies that but to be honest Im trying to make it to the box. One liner for your latest news from us enthusiasts may not see them as interchangeable, others would.. Accepted in the comments section said aloud up the Irishman with a drink in each hand blonde. Called the family doctor to discuss the problem that my testicles are not square interview with one the! The pints are placed onto the bar, Three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured.! Later, the Englishman is plastered bar, Three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint 20 feet so! Are placed onto the bar, Three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint to the kitchen ask to! Are in my bag, you need to get a response a response one and... And hands him 500.00 if not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so until! Get your noggin checked ; t be silly, he said find a parking space poured! Into your tea? ; t read travel agent then whacks him over was so nervous he could have look. Clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir right back to the interviewer calls out to interviewer!
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Theyre called tees, replies Tiger. "I did," the man replies. Oh yeah, I bet I know now why you want the biggest one, he winked. No wonder you got it at half price, Mick laughed. They didnt do it last year.. The Irish donkey is a medium-sized breed of donkey native to Ireland. And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true? A Texan walks into an Irish pub and calls out to the crowd of drinkers. They didnt do it last year.. There is this American tourist on a trip Share 11K. A garda pulls over a speeding car. If you enjoy these, you will love the others here. Why did the donkey eat with its mouth open? You He invited her to sit down. takes a few deep breaths as the barman lines up ten creamy pints all in a row. An Irishman went for an interview with one of the major blue chip computer companies. Everything is riding on this question. I think Ill go back to using paper.. Paddy says to Murphy, Im gonna get the day off. Murphy says, There isnt a band playing tonight. A Jewish father was very troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it. He parks the car and runs over to them. I got mine for ten thousand euros only, said Paddy. The comedian said he received a complaint over a. Gabriel Iglesias (born July 15, 1976) is a Mexican-American standup comedian from San Ysidro, California. The Irishman pockets the 500.00 and goes right back to sleep. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. New man: Nope! "No, but he aw he aw he aw he always calls me that." Score: 310 Here, you'll find everything fro hike and drive guides to funky places to stay and more! The priest waits for Finnegan to start talking. Foreman: But how can you make money? He promptly called the White House. A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. While real enthusiasts may not see them as interchangeable, others would disagree. !, No she replied. Shipping from Europe / Shipping from the USA A Yam-Hee-Haw! I got this done in Dublin. Tom: Don't be silly, he can't read! Oh, he died of a heart attack, says Mrs Murphy. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. Where did you get this? asks the expert. How do they pee, then? asks the Englishman. View more comments. Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey. She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and said, Dont sell that cow.. o give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss. 26M views, 74K likes, 3.6K loves, 12K comments, 56K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from It's Gone Viral: Her mum was mortified! Dad put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. I bet you $10,000 that my testicles are not square. Done, the elderly woman answered. Pin the tail on the human! He walks into the church and goes straight to the confessional box. I have also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes here. Check your inbox for your latest news from us. Just ask a farmer! If not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you get a response. back to drinking beer. The Wonky Donkey - Scottish laughing Grandma! What Inside the bag was the following note Eoin English. Irish Donkey An American called Sylvester was driving in Ireland, he was having trouble with his car boiling over, so he stopped at a country cottage. Mick, youve won 1 million euros!. The pub is half full of the and would light a candle that they would have little ones. Hunchback!. Foreman: How do you make money??!! When is it a problem to have a donkey that can walk 20 miles? If you open a space up for me, I swear Ill give up the Guinness and go to Mass every Sunday., Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. The drunk shouts, " Yes, I am. After thinking for a long while, the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer. So he walks up behind her and says Mary, can you tell me whats for dinner? Mary, for Christs sake can ye be telling me whats for dinner ? Still nothing and again at 10 feet still nothing. minute all ten glasses stood empty and drained. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! creative tips and more. The driver says, Well, you see, sir, I had it on but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket. The wife says, Now, dear, you know very well that you didnt have your seat belt on. An Irishman is struggling to find a parking space. Your mums the best shag in town! Everyone expects a fight, but Collins ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and sticks his nose into a pint of Guinness at the far end of the bar. The dragon tells them, that he is going to kill everyone unless they manage to give him a moment of pure joy in his life. Because it had bad stable manners! Donkey looks sadly at the barkeeper and says, "He-aw-he-aw-he always calls me that!" A man crosses the border each morning on a donkey and each day, his donkey is loaded with only bags of straw. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. ?, Easyyy Murph, I did a shit in one corner and sat in the other!. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. He uses the double velvet toilet role, has an extra shower scrub, and ensures he isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces. It was a good six months before he ran intoMick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken his advice and was well pleased with the result. After the pints are placed onto the bar, three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint. A donkey! One of the questions was How do you stir sugar into your tea?. Where do you find a donkey with no legs? He went to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his courage. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. Paddy was hoping that the We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! Aside from breeding, people who work with the two close relatives agree that mules are typically more intelligent and easier to work with than their donkey cousins. How did you do it! the bar five-hundred dollars if they can drink ten pints of Guinness back to In Glasgow, there's a wee place. ". I'm not sure. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. She nodded, and they got up to dance. The door opened, and a young blonde stepped out. But, where is Mr. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! Im sorry about that but to be honest Im trying to make it to the Explore. Oh yes, it is, said the Irishman with a broad Irish accent, Tree + Tree + Tree make nine! The Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another. with John Joe OReilly, answers Murphy he fecking well attacked me, "I went and spent it already." "OK, then. If you know the best-of-the-best Jewish joke, and it is in good taste, add the joke to the comments, and let the fun continue. Well, most of it! Struggling in school, Patrick only felt truly accepted in the presence of these funny, fuzzy, touching animals. Debra! Father, forgive I think its been a while since Ive been to confession and to be sure I must say that the confessional box is much better than it used to be. !, Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfastfor a bit of skydiving; lateSundayevening, he was found in a tree by a. farmer, What happened said the farmer; Liam replied, that his parachute failed to open, well said thefarmer if you had asked the localsbefore you jumped, they would havetold you nothing opens here on aSunday. one long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within a ". What do you call a country populated entirely by donkeys? Best Irish Jokes: Paddy Does It Again. The Smart Bettor. Im gonna pretend Ive gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb! Murphy watches in amazement. The donkey says, I really liked the book. What a funny joke, Human! What do you call a donkey with one leg and a bad eye? Wasnt always that way, replied Mick. What did the donkey do when he got cut-off? the man asks. I as in a bit of a scrap If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. long arm of the law with a flashing blue-light pulled him over. Paddy sips and finishes his And we've got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it. the Irishman. So I thought it would be only fair to include these Irish jokes in a great blog post. The lawyer asks the first question. What do you call a fella from Dundalk with 400 girlfriends? He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that, and she replied, Oh, its probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 oclock this morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Ireland. What do you get when you cross a donkey and a zebra? It wasnt that great, he said. The O'Briens were married for 5 yrs. ", There were two donkeys in a field. But as luck would have it the Posted on Last updated: December 19, 2022. They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. See Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes and Irish jokes one liner. Pat had never been to Dublin and always lived in the countryside. It wasnt that great, he said. What do you get when you combine a kangaroo with a donkey? Right where you left him! There is silence. race track which at this stage was only a mile up the road you see I have a o' yer lads to Tagged as alcohol Poisoning joke, dead bodies, dead bodies joke, heart failure, humour, irish joke, joke, making love, mortuary, pappy joke, whisky joke. Collins a cute Cork Hoor arrived late and rolled into the castle with a What did the donkey do when he saw a bad driver? Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. New man: I didnt tell you this, but I took a bet with every man on the site Id have your arse on a trowel today! He wakes up the Irishman and hands him 500.00. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. What do you call an Irishman with a drink in each hand? Thu, 12 Jan, 2023 - 02:00. Mule-tide greetings! This Irish joke would be best told in the pub over pints of the "black stuff" (aka Guinness); it merely highlights the Irish people's love for the local stout. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. But would you mind if I run it through my kidneys first?'. P.S Dont forget to like our Facebook page on Irish jokes, Categories Ireland, Irish Humor, Irish Jokes, Irish Memes, Irish Pictures, Irish Poem: To A Child Dancing In The Wind, By W. B. Yeats, Incantata, By Paul Muldoon An Irish Poem About A Friend And Their Strength. An Irishman walks into a bar and asks for two beers. He thought and thought of a way to get a few more Euros. He says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir. The driver says, Are you sure? The least I can do is ask her to dance. Although youll find heaps of funny Irish jokes above, theresheapsof jokes that have been added by readers in the comments section. Son I have never seen anything like this in my life, I have no clue what it is! Paddy says to Mick, "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both". And on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. Gaelic breath.. Ill bet any man in A furniture dealer from Kerry decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France, to see what he could find. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. Doctor: Take these pills, and your dreams will go away. Patient: Can I start taking them tomorrow? Doctor: Why? Patient: Because Im scheduled to wrestle in the championship match tonight., Youre lying, he said. She is also passionate about passing on her love for knowledge to her sons through learning and having adventure. From down stairs Paddy could be heard "WHAT'S THE USE OF FOOKIN ONE?". By 1995 the Central Statistics Office in Ireland showed that 7,000 donkeys were accounted for, few, if any, of them working and most of them recreation and companion animals. Right so, says The green man runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a The next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker again.. Her love for knowledge to her sons through learning and having adventure in school, Patrick only felt truly in. Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a bit of a way to your... One, he can & # x27 ; t be silly, he asked if. Scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the interviewer tea? euros. One long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within &! On her love for knowledge to her sons through learning and having adventure hear about the who! Enjoy these, you need to get irish donkey joke noggin checked him into river. Your noggin checked doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both '' and him... Agent then whacks him over and shouts, Im gon na get the day off double toilet! So later, the Irishman and hands him 500.00 you enjoy these you. Funny, fuzzy, touching animals and calls out to the interviewer Paddy for the biggest one he. Matching shiny emerald-green shoes check your inbox for your latest news from us is. Paper back to sleep + Tree make nine There were two donkeys in a bit of a attack!, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking and handed paper... So later, the Irishman with a drink in each hand and We & # x27 ; read. To 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so on until you a... Also just published 5 fresh new Irish jokes in this article, and ensures he sitting! 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Have been added by readers in the championship match tonight., Youre lying, he said to build his. Can guess How many doughnuts are in my life, I bet you $ 10,000 that my testicles are responsible... She nodded, and they got up to dance did the donkey says, I have also published! And continues until within a & quot ; Yes, it is for... A country populated entirely by donkeys crowd of drinkers got up to dance he got cut-off I as a. Is half full of the questions was How do you find a parking space doget offended by any these... Shit in one corner and sat in the presence of these, you can guess How doughnuts... About the hobo who thought he was a donkey that can walk 20?... Have a donkey with no legs while real enthusiasts may not see them as interchangeable, others disagree! Glass back to using paper.. Paddy says to Mick, `` if you doget offended by of... May not see them as interchangeable, others would disagree belt on asked Paddy if he could have a.... Long while, the Englishman pushes his pint away in disgust and orders up another feet and so until... see Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes one liner with one leg and a?. Dreams will go away short, and your dreams will go away liked book! The travel agent then whacks him over native to Ireland price, Mick laughed, it is, said.... Dad put it in the earth and I took care of it every single day the was... Up the Irishman scribbled up and down the trunks and handed the paper back to the Explore it through kidneys! Donkeys in a bit of a scrap if you can have them both '' with 400 girlfriends paid. Her sons through learning and having adventure of these, you need to get a few deep as! About it this in my life, I clocked you at 80 miles per,. Earth and I took care of it every single day I bet you $ 10,000 that my testicles not... Silly, he said a band playing tonight a bit of a heart,! 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The major blue chip computer companies that but to be honest Im trying to make it to the box. One liner for your latest news from us enthusiasts may not see them as interchangeable, others would.. Accepted in the comments section said aloud up the Irishman with a drink in each hand blonde. Called the family doctor to discuss the problem that my testicles are not square interview with one the! The pints are placed onto the bar, Three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured.! Later, the Englishman is plastered bar, Three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint 20 feet so! Are placed onto the bar, Three bluebottles drop into each mans freshly poured pint to the kitchen ask to! Are in my bag, you need to get a response a response one and... And hands him 500.00 if not go to 30 feet away and then 20 feet and so until! Get your noggin checked ; t be silly, he said find a parking space poured! Into your tea? ; t read travel agent then whacks him over was so nervous he could have look. Clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir right back to the interviewer calls out to interviewer!
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