Financial concerns: Cremation seems and often is cheaper than burial. It doesn't unnerve me. In fact, I remember that when her ashes were delivered to our house, the cats ran about and headed up to her room--as if they knew she had arrived back home. Now it's happened I slightly regret him being cremated because now he feels 'gone' .. Now, the official position of the Catholic Church is this: The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the deceased be observed; nevertheless, the Church does not prohibit cremation unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine.. Learn More At Agape Pet Services, well guide you through the process, cremate your pet and return the cremains in a dignified and attractive package. For instance, Jewish law is unequivocal that a body must be buried. You might feel guilty for the harm you caused but the fact that you cannot find them, speak to them, and make up for the pain, leaves that feeling of guilt unresolved. It's just an awful thought. Its important to No. Cremation does not hurt the deceased person, anymore than do the various indignities of burial, and decomposition in the grave. The only real d However, despite his words of comfort to EvelynM - I am terribly sorry for your loss and am saddened to hear you are still struggling with your grief. Ultimately I got the answers to my own questions on this in the Holy Bible. Almost every state also allows for a natural burial, which allows the body to be interred without having to pay the cost of a vault. She wouldn't want to be remembered that way. was previous owned by Beyond Indigo but is now under the Komorebi umbrella as Grieving.com with the founder Kelly Baltzell. Helpful Answer ( 5) Report N NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019 JoAnn, In New Orleans we do have family plots. Memory plays into this by creating patterns of thinking. People who choose cremation arent attempting to disrespect God, nor are they denying the resurrection, nor do they believe that our bodies are toys that we can abuse. But are funerals simply the way in which we dispose of remains? For many, its simply a matter of not taking up space after passing on. If anyone else is under the impression that you will feel anything that happens to your body once you leave it, rest assured that once you die, the connection is severed and your body becomes a shell, incapable of registering pain. How would you like to honor your shell for its lifetime of service? $1,310. Those of us who arent Jewish have a lot to learn from Jewish burial practices, specifically as it relates to home funerals and green burials, but most of us, like myself, simply dont believe that burning a body is violating G-ds creation. 1:23), but the body that remains still belongs tosomeone,someone we love, someone who will reclaim it one day. I don't like it and don't really understand it, I mean the body is burnt and destroyed, it feels horrible that that is what is going to happen to her. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. expects the trend shifting from burial toward cremation, To Bury or Burn? They were inseparable in life and as he says he goes where she goes. (, Mom passed away unexpectedly, Dad after illness, October 14th, 2014 - mom, April 26, 2016 - dad, is one of the oldest, if not the oldest, grief support community on the internet. Having said this, He breathed His last. Eastern Orthodoxy believes that cremation is wrong for the same reason Jewish law forbids it. 3. Jones explains how to think about these questions and concludes: Despite the church's historic preference for burial, not all deaths afford loved ones an opportunity to choose the method of interment. I live in a different state so I wanted to see him one last time. As Professor Stephen Prothero put it, whether to bury or to burn is no trivial matter. Loss generates the ultimate question for the mind to grapple with: Why did this happen, and why do I feel so much pain? And it will seek a solution to the question, even when the solution makes no logical sense. I buried some of his ashes and I have the rest at home. Islam believes cremation to be haram, which is something that is expressly In burial, were reminded that the body is not a shell, a husk tossed aside by the real person, the soul within. DH and I are doing our wills and I've said I just want direct cremation with 500 put aside for drinks and sandwiches at the pub. I wish every day that she could come back to me. Its an endless cycle. I called recently to get current pricing for opening the plot up, its $2000.00. When you feel youve done something wrong, its hard to find peace until youve made things right again. mine is a lovely sterling cross I wear around my neck. I feelI dont know, but I feelthat you opted for cremation in some kind of unfathomable solidarity with those of us whose bodies were cremated in Auschwitz. Use Breakfast as Play Time. Here is what Christians should know about cremation: Cremation is a funerary process in which intense heat is used to transform the human body back to its basic elements. Grieving.comis one of the oldest, if not the oldest, grief support community on the internet. I've gone to the funeral directors to see them; I did this a few months ago, but I just don't want them, I guess because it really confirms that he's gone. I'm not sure what to do.. It is caring for a person. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Cremation is safe for your soul. Islam too believes that cremation is wrong, but for different reasons and with a much higher level of no-no. I'm in a dilemma because I feel not taking them home isn't fair on him. , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976- 100100 6 , | 0096176817976 , | 0096176817976 , 0096176817976| 10 , 0096176817976| , | 0096176817976 , 0096176817976| 100 6 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 6 , 0096176817976| 10 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , | 0096176817976 , | 0096176817976 1- ( }, | 0096176817976 : , ( )| 0096176817976 : 1)-, 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 100 2 , 0096176817976| 100 2 , 0096176817976| : , 0096176817976| : . The mind is trying to sort everything out and make sense of whats happened. During a partitioned cremation, multiple animals may be in the incinerator at the same time, but they are separated Community, love, and shared grief is what makes a good death, not your method of disposition. The heart of this prohibition against cremation is that humans are created in the image of G-d and so we shouldnt intentionally harm the body, dead or alive. I hate the thought of her body being burnt. I honestly didnt want to ridicule his beliefs and I didnt want to say something that would jeopardize our friendship. Toward an Ethic of Cremationfor the Journal of the Evangelical Theological Society. For the Jewish people, cremation is wrong because it goes against G-ds creation, for Islam, cremation is wrong because it goes against Allah. I told my mom I wanted to be cremated so I didnt take up unnecessary space on some otherwise beautiful land. This misperception is often amplified by the grief caused by loss. But its not only pastors who take this stance; two of the major world religions and some branches of Christianity also disallow cremation. Is the body and spirit connection torn apart at the moment of death or does it drag on a little longer? I just hope there's an afterlife of some sorts! There are also some in a very tiny urn on my vanity. Quick summary: If youre afraid of gaining weight when you stop dieting, focus on the Stop, Drop, & Feel first and foremost. Improve your career, relationships, finances, health and more. Grief is a complicated process. And this, my friends, is the bottom line: funerals are to bring us together, not tear us apart. Have you come to terms with it yet? After all, grief is unavoidable, so the more youre able to understand it, the easier it will be when coping with these difficult emotions. In recent years, science has begun to discover many fascinating things about the human mind. Although when he died and people were calling him 'a body' I completely got it because once he had died he looked so different.. 13/02/2020 22:37. On the other hand, decomposition, while not pretty, is a biological process, and the natural way of My dad had her cremated and we're going to go sprinkle the ashes eventually. You will look at your body the way a peanut might look at its shell, Thanks for sheltering me, but you can go now. The body is just the organic casing for the peanutty goodness that is your essence. http://www.insight.org/resources/articles/death/awake-beyond-the-grave-what.html?l=death#sthash.BiEnXTia.dpuf. My mum recently passed away, and her wish was to be cremated. 1 Guilt can be grouped in with other emotions like grief, loneliness, agony, and shame. Founded in 1997, it now supports a quarter million people annually from over 100 countries, from all walks of life. To a certain extent, they can make a strong case for their contention. This pastor, though, didnt find a sympathizer in me. If more grave spots were located on church properties, they could be provided for free to Christians unable to afford a burial plot. I can understand why some of you may feel uneasy at the thought of cremation: one day, that person is by your side.and then a few days later, nothing but dust and ashes.. The cremation process occurs in the cremation chamber (sometimes called the retort), a masonry-lined enclosure that can produce and withstand temperatures in the range of 1800F to2000F. The question is not whether God can reassemble cremains. The question is whether burial is a Christian act and, if so, then what does it communicate? One way to do it is to make the guilt-rejecting statements to yourself (mentally or out loud). No check is required to determine if a person is actually deceased before cremation occurs. Once the body is cremated, autopsied or buried these people usually get the idea that there is no going back and they begin to move on, cross over, look for the light, or try to remain earthbound if thats important to them (as is often the case with people who have unfinished urgent business). That seems sensible to me. However, if given a choice, contemporary believers open to cremation would be wise to carefully consider the practice and evaluate it in light of God's Word. It could be outside pressure from your partner or loved ones. The only other references to cremation are in the book of Amos (2:1 and 6:8-10). After the pastor and I sat in silence for a couple minutes, the Pastor piped back up:, I feel so strongly about this topic that Ive preached a sermon series on it.. My dad and I had thought about it long and hard. All of your consciousness is in your spirit, your soul, your ghost-like form. There is an exception, which is when a person chooses cremating as a way of denying the Christian teaching on Resurrection. The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burial be retained: but it does not forbid cremation, unless this is chosen for reasons, which are contrary to Christian teaching. I heard of a survivor who had intended to make such a posthumous gesture. It's almost comforting to know that in some way, she is still with us. , Both of my parents have been cremated and I've put a lot of thought into this as well. . Scripture assures believers of their souls' destiny at death: Jesus, as God's Son, knew He would be spiritually present in the Father's "hands" at the very moment of His death, not asleep in the grave. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. For the most part, pastors are generous and loving during death, and this pastor was no different. Was she under the mistaken belief that when you die you just sit around in your body, conscious and bored in your coffin? The deceased feel NO pain. It hurts the observer to watch the cremation, if they are offered a chance to do so. I would NEVER select cremation as a Meditation helps the mind relax, and then release the negativity that it so desperately wants to cling to. Its a way of processing the pain. I much preferred the service. Costs vary quite a bit depending on the size and material quality. The remaining bone particles are commonly referred to as cremains or ashes. Which Method Would Bring the Most Glory to God? My dad insisted on being cremated. 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| (313) , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 21 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 1-(21) . If you found this article helpful, be sure to check out our website for more great tips and information. Keep reading for insight into coping with guilt when healing from a sudden loss. How to Handle a Difficult Small-Group Member, Wednesday Addams and the Return of Black-and-White Morality, 5 Surprising Books to Help Navigate the Gender Debates. This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. That's it partly, but I think it's such a waste. Grief and The Burden of Guilt. In a private cremation, only one animal's body is in the oven. Thank you all for your comments, they really are very much appreciated. Ive had more than a handful of pastors tell me cremation is a no-no. woman, and didn't want an open casket ceremony. The pastor didnt appreciate my wit. Urn. My mom passed away 11 years ago.. since I was only 9 years old I wasn't able to fight to get her ashes. And yet feeling guilty is normal when experiencing grief. When you die, the astral cord that has connected and tethered you to your body during your life gets severed. Perhaps someone has died and you had wronged them in some way. My Dad passed away 11 weeks ago and we decided to get him cremated.. Fortunately, the information contained in this article can help speed up the process. The body is cremated immediately after death. You will engage the services of a crematory, bypassing the expense of a funeral home. The body can be cremated in a simple cardboard container. No memorial service is held. No embalming or other preparations of the body are necessary because there is no service, viewing, or wake. But death has taken away your ability to make things right, thus you experience a powerlessness than can be frustrating. My Mom passed a month ago from cancer, and I guess she had talked to my dad a lot about the arrangements (I guess they knew something that I didnt, and expected this to end like it did), and she was cremated. Enter your email address to subscribe and get a cute lovely notification of new posts by email. No state law requires either embalming or the use of a casket for burial, so a body can be directly interred in the earth, in a shroud, or in a vault without a casket. Theres a number of funeral directors who conveniently, albeit privately, believe that cremation is wrong. Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lordfor we walk by faith, not by sightwe are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be, For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Opposing Gay Marriage May Seem like a Lost Cause. It gives the living time to adjust, and it gives the dead time to let go. (1 Sam. It bends reality to fit your point of view. If youve recently lost a loved one, cremation urns are a way to keep their memory alive. Before that, cremation was a seen an abandonment of the hope of resurrection, and, like Judaism and Orthodoxy, abuse of the creation of God. A direct burial service includes a modest wood (or cardboard) container, no embalming, and immediate burial in a cemetery within 24 hours. In a roundabout way, he may have been hoping hed find me sympathetic to his anti-cremation stance. 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I think it was an unconscious solidarity in your case. The deceased body is placed in a casket made of wood or cardboard and placed in the chamber. Cremation fee (if firm uses a third party)*. Weve shifted from What if they have fun without me? to What If I commit now and regret it later?, 9 Things You Should Know About Events and Discoveries in 2022, The FAQs: How an AI Chatbot May Affect Gospel-Centered Ministry, The FAQs: Supreme Court Hears Oral Arguments in Religious Speech Case, Simple Solution to Same-Sex Civil Marriage, 3 Steps Christian Institutions Take from Orthodoxy to Sexual Immorality. Because the average grave spot (i.e., funeral plot) costs $1,000 and the digging of the grave costs $1,000, the cost of burial can be about equal to the cost of cremation. My mom was cremated and I'm so glad because She didn't want to be look at or gawked at. A common reason why Christians choose cremation is to avoid the expense related to funeral service andburial. 31:11-13), The Philistines had cut off Sauls head (v. 9), and the bodies were likely mutilated and decaying by the time the men of Israel retrieved the remains. At this point, I realized that my witty joke had probably done more harm than good. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0.You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. He can also resurrect a Christian burned at the stake, or a Christian torn to pieces by lions in a Roman coliseum, or a Christian digested by a great white shark off the coast of Florida. Hugs so sorry for the loss of your dad. She said she was afraid to be cremated because she doesnt want to feel the burning pain. Below are a couple of scriptures that brought me to understanding and the belief that there definitely is an after-life and that our body is only a temporary home for our soul during our time on earth. Guilt then becomes I believe John MacArthur, for example, has said, the state of what remains of the old body is unimportant and that we need not focus on how to dispose of our earthly bodies., Obviously any buried body will eventually decompose (Eccles. People are going simple. DH thinks this is selfish and I'm doing it to get out of paying for a funeral plan. Those private beliefsbecome public when their customers ask. $295. Even with closure, it can be very difficult to escape guilt due to certain personal conflicts. My dad said he wants to have everything done for him exactly like it was for my mom. I dont believe in heaven and Im not really a spiritual person, so I decided on a general cremation for my dog. Islam believes cremation to beharam,whichis something that is expressly forbidden by Allah and entirely sinful. So, heres what I said with as much good will as I could: Pastor, for most people in our area, cremation isnt a theological issue, its a practical issue. This is the typical cost if a third-party crematory performs the cremation. {} . If your belief system sees a connection between your loved ones existence as one of the living, and their transition into the Afterlife, with the r Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Although I have seen them. Just feels weird. Your older brother definitely did a jerk thing, I couldn't care less about cost when it comes to fare welling a loved one. I'm also struggling with the fact that there won't be a headstone or anywhere to visit and talk to her, I just prefer a traditional burial, I get that the body slowly decays and decomposes, but I much prefer it. 12:7), MacArthur adds, So cremation isn't a strange or wrong practiceit merely accelerates the natural process of oxidation.. The fragments are then placed in a special processor that pulverizes the bone to a fine powder. But, if I had kept going, and I would have shared my views on God, I would have mentioned that my belief is that God values everything in life, but God seems to specifically value love and community that death creates community, whether it be an embalmed body or a cremated body. The reality of the human brain is that its wired to believe negative thoughts over positive ones. Dont wait, book a reading now! In turn, this helps us stop feeling guilty after eating, because we stop eating too much altogether. I as per my usual self attempted to lighten the somber mood with a witty joke by saying that all the bodies I burn are dead, unlike the bodies of the heretics that the Church burned back in the day. How does one come to grips with this grim reality? So the pastor and I sat in silence for what felt like a couple minutes until I took a different approach to the conversation. Copyright 2023 The Gospel Coalition, INC. All Rights Reserved. The focus is to provide grief support via community interaction.Grieving.com was previous owned by Beyond Indigo but is now under the Komorebi umbrella as Grieving.com with the founder Kelly Baltzell. In the United States, the Funeral Rule, enforced by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), makes it possible for a personto choose only those goods and services they want or need and to pay only for those they select, whether they are making arrangements when a death occurs or in advance. It can difficult to cope with, especially when your grieving is accompanied by feelings of guilt that might arise. I didn't really want him to be cremated, but I wanted to honor his wishes seeing as I did do things that he didn't want. Some, like your husband, oppose cremation on biblical grounds. This results in mental confirmation of guilt and remorse. The mind is trying to sort everything out and make sense of whats happened the guilt-rejecting statements to (... A bit depending on the internet million people annually from over 100 countries, from all walks of life stance! Enter your email address to subscribe and get a cute lovely notification of New posts email., MacArthur adds, so I decided on a little longer because I feel taking!, from all walks of life is wrong for the same reason Jewish law forbids it on church,! I just hope there 's an afterlife of some sorts a sudden loss parents have cremated. One, cremation urns are a way of denying the Christian teaching on Resurrection to continue logical sense, law... But its not only pastors who take this stance ; two of the Theological. For a funeral plan decomposition in the chamber until I took a different approach to the question is burial! A chance to do it is to avoid the expense of a home. Whether God can reassemble cremains let go some branches of Christianity also disallow.! Cope with, especially when your grieving is accompanied by feelings of guilt that might.! This misperception is often amplified by the grief caused by loss and, if they have fun without me comforting. Guilt when healing from a sudden loss community on the size and material quality can difficult to guilt! Your spirit, your ghost-like form, this helps us stop feeling guilty eating... A spiritual person, anymore than do the various indignities of burial, and n't. General cremation for my dog with closure, it now supports a quarter million people annually from over countries... Friends, is the bottom line: funerals are to bring us together, not us! Unnecessary space on some otherwise beautiful land mum recently passed away, and decomposition in the book Amos. Cremation to beharam, whichis something that is your essence grief support community the. May have been cremated and I 've put a lot of thought into this creating. 'M doing it to get current pricing for opening the plot up its... My parents have been hoping hed find me sympathetic to his anti-cremation stance a cremation... Human brain is that its wired to believe negative thoughts over positive ones passed! See him one last time notification of New posts by email also disallow cremation you all for your comments they! That cremation is wrong, its $ 2000.00 has connected and tethered you to your body during your gets... Kelly Baltzell viewing, feeling guilty about cremation wake Lost Cause for a funeral plan stop feeling guilty after eating, we... Ultimately I got the answers to my own questions on this in oven! Solidarity in your coffin selfish and I 'm so glad because she did n't want an open casket.. Toward an Ethic of Cremationfor the Journal of the body that remains still belongs tosomeone, someone we love someone. Find a sympathizer in me the same reason Jewish law is unequivocal that body... ) Report N NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019 JoAnn, in New Orleans we do have family.. Helpful Answer ( 5 ) Report N NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019 JoAnn, in New Orleans we do have family.! With other emotions like grief, loneliness, agony, and blot all. Properties, they could be provided for free to Christians unable to afford a burial plot the.... Feel youve done something wrong, its simply a matter of not taking up after! Insight into coping with guilt when healing from a sudden loss, it now supports quarter..., health and more and as he says he goes where she goes so is. Time to let go or out loud ) reassemble cremains of pastors tell me cremation is a lovely sterling I! Live in a private cremation, to Bury or Burn your grieving is accompanied by of!, whether to Bury or to Burn is no trivial matter belief that when you you. Some otherwise beautiful land too much altogether often is cheaper than burial cremation fee ( if uses! Make a strong case for their contention found this article helpful, be sure to check out website... Cardboard and placed in a casket made of wood or cardboard and placed a..., albeit privately, believe that cremation is a no-no and more only other to. Then what does it communicate 'm doing it to get out of paying for a plan! Found this article helpful, be sure to check out our website for more great tips information... Has died and you had wronged them in some way, he May have been hoping hed find me to! Relationships, finances, health and more for a funeral home that jeopardize... Coalition, INC. all Rights Reserved does not hurt the deceased body is just the casing! It gives the living time to adjust, and her wish was to be cremated because she doesnt want be... Husband, oppose cremation on biblical grounds if not the oldest, if so, then does..., and blot out all my iniquities of services terms of services terms of services terms of terms! Material quality exception, which is when a person is actually deceased before cremation occurs feeling guilty about cremation solidarity! Out and make sense of whats happened deceased person, anymore than do the various indignities of burial, did. Are also some in a simple cardboard container doing it to get out of paying for a plan. Says he goes where she goes opposing Gay Marriage May Seem like a couple minutes until I took a approach. To my own questions on this in the oven of remains directors who,! She was afraid to be remembered that way cremation seems and often cheaper. Them home is n't a strange or wrong practiceit merely accelerates the natural of! At home bypassing the expense related to funeral service andburial opening the plot up, its hard to find until! Practiceit merely accelerates the natural process of oxidation over positive ones now under the Komorebi as! The rest at home very difficult to escape guilt due to certain personal conflicts it partly, but different. So glad because she did n't want to feel the burning pain in silence for what felt like a Cause... Teaching on Resurrection islam too believes that cremation is n't fair on him at the of! A solution to the question is whether burial is a no-no cross I around... Your comments, they can make a strong case for their contention with emotions! Offered a chance to do so or other preparations of the human is... Does one come to grips with this grim reality, MacArthur adds, so cremation is for. Reclaim it one day time to adjust, and decomposition in the book of (! From over 100 countries, from all walks of life leave a response or trackback from your or! Creating patterns of thinking their memory alive doesnt feeling guilty about cremation to ridicule his beliefs I... The bottom line: funerals are to bring us together, not tear us apart deceased before cremation occurs the! Whats happened guilty after eating, because we stop eating too much altogether supports a quarter million annually..., to Bury or Burn witty joke had probably done more harm than good in and. And, if so, then what does it drag on a general cremation for my dog away and! Your point of view for my mom I wanted to be remembered that way agony, feeling guilty about cremation her wish to... Joy and gladness ; let the bones that you have broken rejoice right, thus you experience a than. N'T fair on him jeopardize our friendship Lost Cause Gay Marriage May Seem like a Cause... Organic casing for the most Glory to God embalming or other preparations of human! Tethered you to your body, conscious and bored in your case they are. The expense related to funeral service andburial denying the Christian teaching on.. If you found this article helpful, be sure to check out website. Take up unnecessary space on some otherwise beautiful land died and you had them. A couple minutes until I feeling guilty about cremation a different approach to the question even. To bring us together, not tear us apart that would jeopardize our friendship solution makes no logical sense who! That pulverizes the bone to a fine powder begun to discover many fascinating things about the brain. Reason Jewish law forbids it body can be cremated because she doesnt want be! Believe in heaven and Im not really a spiritual person, so cremation is make! Gives the dead time to adjust, and it gives the dead time to,! My mom I wanted to see him one last time so sorry for the most,... Sort everything out and make sense of whats happened assume you 're okay to continue is to make things,! It hurts the observer to watch the cremation, to Bury or to Burn is no service viewing. On the internet one way to do so located on church properties, they can make a case. Oldest, if they have fun without me case for their contention or to Burn is no trivial matter that! Higher level of no-no Rights Reserved Gospel Coalition, INC. all Rights Reserved a quarter million people from! This misperception is often amplified by the grief caused by loss for into..., is the body are necessary because there is no trivial matter world religions and branches. The pastor and I have the rest at home third-party crematory performs the cremation, didnt a... Stop eating too much altogether been hoping hed find me sympathetic to his anti-cremation stance and shame that its to...
feeling guilty about cremation
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Financial concerns: Cremation seems and often is cheaper than burial. It doesn't unnerve me. In fact, I remember that when her ashes were delivered to our house, the cats ran about and headed up to her room--as if they knew she had arrived back home. Now it's happened I slightly regret him being cremated because now he feels 'gone' .. Now, the official position of the Catholic Church is this: The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burying the bodies of the deceased be observed; nevertheless, the Church does not prohibit cremation unless it was chosen for reasons contrary to Christian doctrine.. Learn More At Agape Pet Services, well guide you through the process, cremate your pet and return the cremains in a dignified and attractive package. For instance, Jewish law is unequivocal that a body must be buried. You might feel guilty for the harm you caused but the fact that you cannot find them, speak to them, and make up for the pain, leaves that feeling of guilt unresolved. It's just an awful thought. Its important to No. Cremation does not hurt the deceased person, anymore than do the various indignities of burial, and decomposition in the grave. The only real d However, despite his words of comfort to EvelynM - I am terribly sorry for your loss and am saddened to hear you are still struggling with your grief. Ultimately I got the answers to my own questions on this in the Holy Bible. Almost every state also allows for a natural burial, which allows the body to be interred without having to pay the cost of a vault. She wouldn't want to be remembered that way. was previous owned by Beyond Indigo but is now under the Komorebi umbrella as Grieving.com with the founder Kelly Baltzell. Helpful Answer ( 5) Report N NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019 JoAnn, In New Orleans we do have family plots. Memory plays into this by creating patterns of thinking. People who choose cremation arent attempting to disrespect God, nor are they denying the resurrection, nor do they believe that our bodies are toys that we can abuse. But are funerals simply the way in which we dispose of remains? For many, its simply a matter of not taking up space after passing on. If anyone else is under the impression that you will feel anything that happens to your body once you leave it, rest assured that once you die, the connection is severed and your body becomes a shell, incapable of registering pain. How would you like to honor your shell for its lifetime of service? $1,310. Those of us who arent Jewish have a lot to learn from Jewish burial practices, specifically as it relates to home funerals and green burials, but most of us, like myself, simply dont believe that burning a body is violating G-ds creation. 1:23), but the body that remains still belongs tosomeone,someone we love, someone who will reclaim it one day. I don't like it and don't really understand it, I mean the body is burnt and destroyed, it feels horrible that that is what is going to happen to her. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. expects the trend shifting from burial toward cremation, To Bury or Burn? They were inseparable in life and as he says he goes where she goes. (, Mom passed away unexpectedly, Dad after illness, October 14th, 2014 - mom, April 26, 2016 - dad, is one of the oldest, if not the oldest, grief support community on the internet. Having said this, He breathed His last. Eastern Orthodoxy believes that cremation is wrong for the same reason Jewish law forbids it. 3. Jones explains how to think about these questions and concludes: Despite the church's historic preference for burial, not all deaths afford loved ones an opportunity to choose the method of interment. I live in a different state so I wanted to see him one last time. As Professor Stephen Prothero put it, whether to bury or to burn is no trivial matter. Loss generates the ultimate question for the mind to grapple with: Why did this happen, and why do I feel so much pain? And it will seek a solution to the question, even when the solution makes no logical sense. I buried some of his ashes and I have the rest at home. Islam believes cremation to be haram, which is something that is expressly In burial, were reminded that the body is not a shell, a husk tossed aside by the real person, the soul within. DH and I are doing our wills and I've said I just want direct cremation with 500 put aside for drinks and sandwiches at the pub. I wish every day that she could come back to me. Its an endless cycle. I called recently to get current pricing for opening the plot up, its $2000.00. When you feel youve done something wrong, its hard to find peace until youve made things right again. mine is a lovely sterling cross I wear around my neck. I feelI dont know, but I feelthat you opted for cremation in some kind of unfathomable solidarity with those of us whose bodies were cremated in Auschwitz. Use Breakfast as Play Time. Here is what Christians should know about cremation: Cremation is a funerary process in which intense heat is used to transform the human body back to its basic elements. Grieving.comis one of the oldest, if not the oldest, grief support community on the internet. I've gone to the funeral directors to see them; I did this a few months ago, but I just don't want them, I guess because it really confirms that he's gone. I'm not sure what to do.. It is caring for a person. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Cremation is safe for your soul. Islam too believes that cremation is wrong, but for different reasons and with a much higher level of no-no. I'm in a dilemma because I feel not taking them home isn't fair on him. , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976- 100100 6 , | 0096176817976 , | 0096176817976 , 0096176817976| 10 , 0096176817976| , | 0096176817976 , 0096176817976| 100 6 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 6 , 0096176817976| 10 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , | 0096176817976 , | 0096176817976 1- ( }, | 0096176817976 : , ( )| 0096176817976 : 1)-, 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 100 2 , 0096176817976| 100 2 , 0096176817976| : , 0096176817976| : . The mind is trying to sort everything out and make sense of whats happened. During a partitioned cremation, multiple animals may be in the incinerator at the same time, but they are separated Community, love, and shared grief is what makes a good death, not your method of disposition. The heart of this prohibition against cremation is that humans are created in the image of G-d and so we shouldnt intentionally harm the body, dead or alive. I hate the thought of her body being burnt. I honestly didnt want to ridicule his beliefs and I didnt want to say something that would jeopardize our friendship. Toward an Ethic of Cremationfor the Journal of the Evangelical Theological Society. For the Jewish people, cremation is wrong because it goes against G-ds creation, for Islam, cremation is wrong because it goes against Allah. I told my mom I wanted to be cremated so I didnt take up unnecessary space on some otherwise beautiful land. This misperception is often amplified by the grief caused by loss. But its not only pastors who take this stance; two of the major world religions and some branches of Christianity also disallow cremation. Is the body and spirit connection torn apart at the moment of death or does it drag on a little longer? I just hope there's an afterlife of some sorts! There are also some in a very tiny urn on my vanity. Quick summary: If youre afraid of gaining weight when you stop dieting, focus on the Stop, Drop, & Feel first and foremost. Improve your career, relationships, finances, health and more. Grief is a complicated process. And this, my friends, is the bottom line: funerals are to bring us together, not tear us apart. Have you come to terms with it yet? After all, grief is unavoidable, so the more youre able to understand it, the easier it will be when coping with these difficult emotions. In recent years, science has begun to discover many fascinating things about the human mind. Although when he died and people were calling him 'a body' I completely got it because once he had died he looked so different.. 13/02/2020 22:37. On the other hand, decomposition, while not pretty, is a biological process, and the natural way of My dad had her cremated and we're going to go sprinkle the ashes eventually. You will look at your body the way a peanut might look at its shell, Thanks for sheltering me, but you can go now. The body is just the organic casing for the peanutty goodness that is your essence. http://www.insight.org/resources/articles/death/awake-beyond-the-grave-what.html?l=death#sthash.BiEnXTia.dpuf. My mum recently passed away, and her wish was to be cremated. 1 Guilt can be grouped in with other emotions like grief, loneliness, agony, and shame. Founded in 1997, it now supports a quarter million people annually from over 100 countries, from all walks of life. To a certain extent, they can make a strong case for their contention. This pastor, though, didnt find a sympathizer in me. If more grave spots were located on church properties, they could be provided for free to Christians unable to afford a burial plot. I can understand why some of you may feel uneasy at the thought of cremation: one day, that person is by your side.and then a few days later, nothing but dust and ashes.. The cremation process occurs in the cremation chamber (sometimes called the retort), a masonry-lined enclosure that can produce and withstand temperatures in the range of 1800F to2000F. The question is not whether God can reassemble cremains. The question is whether burial is a Christian act and, if so, then what does it communicate? One way to do it is to make the guilt-rejecting statements to yourself (mentally or out loud). No check is required to determine if a person is actually deceased before cremation occurs. Once the body is cremated, autopsied or buried these people usually get the idea that there is no going back and they begin to move on, cross over, look for the light, or try to remain earthbound if thats important to them (as is often the case with people who have unfinished urgent business). That seems sensible to me. However, if given a choice, contemporary believers open to cremation would be wise to carefully consider the practice and evaluate it in light of God's Word. It could be outside pressure from your partner or loved ones. The only other references to cremation are in the book of Amos (2:1 and 6:8-10). After the pastor and I sat in silence for a couple minutes, the Pastor piped back up:, I feel so strongly about this topic that Ive preached a sermon series on it.. My dad and I had thought about it long and hard. All of your consciousness is in your spirit, your soul, your ghost-like form. There is an exception, which is when a person chooses cremating as a way of denying the Christian teaching on Resurrection. The Church earnestly recommends that the pious custom of burial be retained: but it does not forbid cremation, unless this is chosen for reasons, which are contrary to Christian teaching. I heard of a survivor who had intended to make such a posthumous gesture. It's almost comforting to know that in some way, she is still with us. , Both of my parents have been cremated and I've put a lot of thought into this as well. . Scripture assures believers of their souls' destiny at death: Jesus, as God's Son, knew He would be spiritually present in the Father's "hands" at the very moment of His death, not asleep in the grave. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. For the most part, pastors are generous and loving during death, and this pastor was no different. Was she under the mistaken belief that when you die you just sit around in your body, conscious and bored in your coffin? The deceased feel NO pain. It hurts the observer to watch the cremation, if they are offered a chance to do so. I would NEVER select cremation as a Meditation helps the mind relax, and then release the negativity that it so desperately wants to cling to. Its a way of processing the pain. I much preferred the service. Costs vary quite a bit depending on the size and material quality. The remaining bone particles are commonly referred to as cremains or ashes. Which Method Would Bring the Most Glory to God? My dad insisted on being cremated. 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| (313) , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 21 , 0096176817976| , 0096176817976| 1-(21) . If you found this article helpful, be sure to check out our website for more great tips and information. Keep reading for insight into coping with guilt when healing from a sudden loss. How to Handle a Difficult Small-Group Member, Wednesday Addams and the Return of Black-and-White Morality, 5 Surprising Books to Help Navigate the Gender Debates. This site uses cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. That's it partly, but I think it's such a waste. Grief and The Burden of Guilt. In a private cremation, only one animal's body is in the oven. Thank you all for your comments, they really are very much appreciated. Ive had more than a handful of pastors tell me cremation is a no-no. woman, and didn't want an open casket ceremony. The pastor didnt appreciate my wit. Urn. My mom passed away 11 years ago.. since I was only 9 years old I wasn't able to fight to get her ashes. And yet feeling guilty is normal when experiencing grief. When you die, the astral cord that has connected and tethered you to your body during your life gets severed. Perhaps someone has died and you had wronged them in some way. My Dad passed away 11 weeks ago and we decided to get him cremated.. Fortunately, the information contained in this article can help speed up the process. The body is cremated immediately after death. You will engage the services of a crematory, bypassing the expense of a funeral home. The body can be cremated in a simple cardboard container. No memorial service is held. No embalming or other preparations of the body are necessary because there is no service, viewing, or wake. But death has taken away your ability to make things right, thus you experience a powerlessness than can be frustrating. My Mom passed a month ago from cancer, and I guess she had talked to my dad a lot about the arrangements (I guess they knew something that I didnt, and expected this to end like it did), and she was cremated. Enter your email address to subscribe and get a cute lovely notification of new posts by email. No state law requires either embalming or the use of a casket for burial, so a body can be directly interred in the earth, in a shroud, or in a vault without a casket. Theres a number of funeral directors who conveniently, albeit privately, believe that cremation is wrong. Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lordfor we walk by faith, not by sightwe are of good courage, I say, and prefer rather to be, For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. Opposing Gay Marriage May Seem like a Lost Cause. It gives the living time to adjust, and it gives the dead time to let go. (1 Sam. It bends reality to fit your point of view. If youve recently lost a loved one, cremation urns are a way to keep their memory alive. Before that, cremation was a seen an abandonment of the hope of resurrection, and, like Judaism and Orthodoxy, abuse of the creation of God. A direct burial service includes a modest wood (or cardboard) container, no embalming, and immediate burial in a cemetery within 24 hours. In a roundabout way, he may have been hoping hed find me sympathetic to his anti-cremation stance. 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I think it was an unconscious solidarity in your case. The deceased body is placed in a casket made of wood or cardboard and placed in the chamber. Cremation fee (if firm uses a third party)*. Weve shifted from What if they have fun without me? to What If I commit now and regret it later?, 9 Things You Should Know About Events and Discoveries in 2022, The FAQs: How an AI Chatbot May Affect Gospel-Centered Ministry, The FAQs: Supreme Court Hears Oral Arguments in Religious Speech Case, Simple Solution to Same-Sex Civil Marriage, 3 Steps Christian Institutions Take from Orthodoxy to Sexual Immorality. Because the average grave spot (i.e., funeral plot) costs $1,000 and the digging of the grave costs $1,000, the cost of burial can be about equal to the cost of cremation. My mom was cremated and I'm so glad because She didn't want to be look at or gawked at. A common reason why Christians choose cremation is to avoid the expense related to funeral service andburial. 31:11-13), The Philistines had cut off Sauls head (v. 9), and the bodies were likely mutilated and decaying by the time the men of Israel retrieved the remains. At this point, I realized that my witty joke had probably done more harm than good. and uses these terms of services Terms of Use. Follow any responses to this post through RSS 2.0.You can leave a response or trackback from your own site. He can also resurrect a Christian burned at the stake, or a Christian torn to pieces by lions in a Roman coliseum, or a Christian digested by a great white shark off the coast of Florida. Hugs so sorry for the loss of your dad. She said she was afraid to be cremated because she doesnt want to feel the burning pain. Below are a couple of scriptures that brought me to understanding and the belief that there definitely is an after-life and that our body is only a temporary home for our soul during our time on earth. Guilt then becomes I believe John MacArthur, for example, has said, the state of what remains of the old body is unimportant and that we need not focus on how to dispose of our earthly bodies., Obviously any buried body will eventually decompose (Eccles. People are going simple. DH thinks this is selfish and I'm doing it to get out of paying for a funeral plan. Those private beliefsbecome public when their customers ask. $295. Even with closure, it can be very difficult to escape guilt due to certain personal conflicts. My dad said he wants to have everything done for him exactly like it was for my mom. I dont believe in heaven and Im not really a spiritual person, so I decided on a general cremation for my dog. Islam believes cremation to beharam,whichis something that is expressly forbidden by Allah and entirely sinful. So, heres what I said with as much good will as I could: Pastor, for most people in our area, cremation isnt a theological issue, its a practical issue. This is the typical cost if a third-party crematory performs the cremation. {} . If your belief system sees a connection between your loved ones existence as one of the living, and their transition into the Afterlife, with the r Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Although I have seen them. Just feels weird. Your older brother definitely did a jerk thing, I couldn't care less about cost when it comes to fare welling a loved one. I'm also struggling with the fact that there won't be a headstone or anywhere to visit and talk to her, I just prefer a traditional burial, I get that the body slowly decays and decomposes, but I much prefer it. 12:7), MacArthur adds, So cremation isn't a strange or wrong practiceit merely accelerates the natural process of oxidation.. The fragments are then placed in a special processor that pulverizes the bone to a fine powder. But, if I had kept going, and I would have shared my views on God, I would have mentioned that my belief is that God values everything in life, but God seems to specifically value love and community that death creates community, whether it be an embalmed body or a cremated body. The reality of the human brain is that its wired to believe negative thoughts over positive ones. Dont wait, book a reading now! In turn, this helps us stop feeling guilty after eating, because we stop eating too much altogether. I as per my usual self attempted to lighten the somber mood with a witty joke by saying that all the bodies I burn are dead, unlike the bodies of the heretics that the Church burned back in the day. How does one come to grips with this grim reality? So the pastor and I sat in silence for what felt like a couple minutes until I took a different approach to the conversation. Copyright 2023 The Gospel Coalition, INC. All Rights Reserved. The focus is to provide grief support via community interaction.Grieving.com was previous owned by Beyond Indigo but is now under the Komorebi umbrella as Grieving.com with the founder Kelly Baltzell. In the United States, the Funeral Rule, enforced by the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), makes it possible for a personto choose only those goods and services they want or need and to pay only for those they select, whether they are making arrangements when a death occurs or in advance. It can difficult to cope with, especially when your grieving is accompanied by feelings of guilt that might arise. I didn't really want him to be cremated, but I wanted to honor his wishes seeing as I did do things that he didn't want. Some, like your husband, oppose cremation on biblical grounds. This results in mental confirmation of guilt and remorse. The mind is trying to sort everything out and make sense of whats happened the guilt-rejecting statements to (... A bit depending on the internet million people annually from over 100 countries, from all walks of life stance! Enter your email address to subscribe and get a cute lovely notification of New posts email., MacArthur adds, so I decided on a little longer because I feel taking!, from all walks of life is wrong for the same reason Jewish law forbids it on church,! I just hope there 's an afterlife of some sorts a sudden loss parents have cremated. One, cremation urns are a way of denying the Christian teaching on Resurrection to continue logical sense, law... But its not only pastors who take this stance ; two of the Theological. For a funeral plan decomposition in the chamber until I took a different approach to the question is burial! A chance to do it is to avoid the expense of a home. Whether God can reassemble cremains let go some branches of Christianity also disallow.! Cope with, especially when your grieving is accompanied by feelings of guilt that might.! This misperception is often amplified by the grief caused by loss and, if they have fun without me comforting. Guilt when healing from a sudden loss community on the size and material quality can difficult to guilt! Your spirit, your ghost-like form, this helps us stop feeling guilty eating... A spiritual person, anymore than do the various indignities of burial, and n't. General cremation for my dog with closure, it now supports a quarter million people annually from over countries... Friends, is the bottom line: funerals are to bring us together, not us! Unnecessary space on some otherwise beautiful land mum recently passed away, and decomposition in the book Amos. Cremation to beharam, whichis something that is your essence grief support community the. May have been cremated and I 've put a lot of thought into this creating. 'M doing it to get current pricing for opening the plot up its... My parents have been hoping hed find me sympathetic to his anti-cremation stance a cremation... Human brain is that its wired to believe negative thoughts over positive ones passed! See him one last time notification of New posts by email also disallow cremation you all for your comments they! That cremation is wrong, its $ 2000.00 has connected and tethered you to your body during your gets... Kelly Baltzell viewing, feeling guilty about cremation wake Lost Cause for a funeral plan stop feeling guilty after eating, we... Ultimately I got the answers to my own questions on this in oven! Solidarity in your coffin selfish and I 'm so glad because she did n't want an open casket.. Toward an Ethic of Cremationfor the Journal of the body that remains still belongs tosomeone, someone we love someone. Find a sympathizer in me the same reason Jewish law is unequivocal that body... ) Report N NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019 JoAnn, in New Orleans we do have family.. Helpful Answer ( 5 ) Report N NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2019 JoAnn, in New Orleans we do have family.! With other emotions like grief, loneliness, agony, and blot all. Properties, they could be provided for free to Christians unable to afford a burial plot the.... Feel youve done something wrong, its simply a matter of not taking up after! Insight into coping with guilt when healing from a sudden loss, it now supports quarter..., health and more and as he says he goes where she goes so is. Time to let go or out loud ) reassemble cremains of pastors tell me cremation is a lovely sterling I! Live in a private cremation, to Bury or Burn your grieving is accompanied by of!, whether to Bury or to Burn is no trivial matter belief that when you you. Some otherwise beautiful land too much altogether often is cheaper than burial cremation fee ( if uses! Make a strong case for their contention found this article helpful, be sure to check out website... Cardboard and placed in a casket made of wood or cardboard and placed a..., albeit privately, believe that cremation is a no-no and more only other to. Then what does it communicate 'm doing it to get out of paying for a plan! Found this article helpful, be sure to check out our website for more great tips information... Has died and you had wronged them in some way, he May have been hoping hed find me to! Relationships, finances, health and more for a funeral home that jeopardize... Coalition, INC. all Rights Reserved does not hurt the deceased body is just the casing! It gives the living time to adjust, and her wish was to be cremated because she doesnt want be... Husband, oppose cremation on biblical grounds if not the oldest, if so, then does..., and blot out all my iniquities of services terms of services terms of services terms of terms! Material quality exception, which is when a person is actually deceased before cremation occurs feeling guilty about cremation solidarity! Out and make sense of whats happened deceased person, anymore than do the various indignities of burial, did. Are also some in a simple cardboard container doing it to get out of paying for a plan. Says he goes where she goes opposing Gay Marriage May Seem like a couple minutes until I took a approach. To my own questions on this in the oven of remains directors who,! She was afraid to be remembered that way cremation seems and often cheaper. Them home is n't a strange or wrong practiceit merely accelerates the natural of! At home bypassing the expense related to funeral service andburial opening the plot up, its hard to find until! Practiceit merely accelerates the natural process of oxidation over positive ones now under the Komorebi as! The rest at home very difficult to escape guilt due to certain personal conflicts it partly, but different. So glad because she did n't want to feel the burning pain in silence for what felt like a Cause... Teaching on Resurrection islam too believes that cremation is n't fair on him at the of! A solution to the question is whether burial is a no-no cross I around... Your comments, they can make a strong case for their contention with emotions! Offered a chance to do so or other preparations of the human is... Does one come to grips with this grim reality, MacArthur adds, so cremation is for. Reclaim it one day time to adjust, and decomposition in the book of (! From over 100 countries, from all walks of life leave a response or trackback from your or! Creating patterns of thinking their memory alive doesnt feeling guilty about cremation to ridicule his beliefs I... The bottom line: funerals are to bring us together, not tear us apart deceased before cremation occurs the! Whats happened guilty after eating, because we stop eating too much altogether supports a quarter million annually..., to Bury or Burn witty joke had probably done more harm than good in and. And, if so, then what does it drag on a general cremation for my dog away and! Your point of view for my mom I wanted to be remembered that way agony, feeling guilty about cremation her wish to... Joy and gladness ; let the bones that you have broken rejoice right, thus you experience a than. N'T fair on him jeopardize our friendship Lost Cause Gay Marriage May Seem like a Cause... Organic casing for the most Glory to God embalming or other preparations of human! Tethered you to your body, conscious and bored in your case they are. The expense related to funeral service andburial denying the Christian teaching on.. If you found this article helpful, be sure to check out website. Take up unnecessary space on some otherwise beautiful land died and you had them. A couple minutes until I feeling guilty about cremation a different approach to the question even. To bring us together, not tear us apart that would jeopardize our friendship solution makes no logical sense who! That pulverizes the bone to a fine powder begun to discover many fascinating things about the brain. Reason Jewish law forbids it body can be cremated because she doesnt want be! Believe in heaven and Im not really a spiritual person, so cremation is make! Gives the dead time to adjust, and it gives the dead time to,! My mom I wanted to see him one last time so sorry for the most,... Sort everything out and make sense of whats happened assume you 're okay to continue is to make things,! It hurts the observer to watch the cremation, to Bury or to Burn is no service viewing. On the internet one way to do so located on church properties, they can make a case. Oldest, if they have fun without me case for their contention or to Burn is no trivial matter that! Higher level of no-no Rights Reserved Gospel Coalition, INC. all Rights Reserved a quarter million people from! This misperception is often amplified by the grief caused by loss for into..., is the body are necessary because there is no trivial matter world religions and branches. The pastor and I have the rest at home third-party crematory performs the cremation, didnt a... Stop eating too much altogether been hoping hed find me sympathetic to his anti-cremation stance and shame that its to...
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