If I am being 100% honest with you, if I my in-laws had treated me the way your family have treated your partner, I would not have married him. Call them out intellectually or use their fear against them they retract. NTA. NTA for uninviting them to the wedding but you are huge AH for not shutting their antics down sooner and continuing to subject Tim to these bullies. This is childish. In these sort of situations whatever he does will never be enough to measure up to people like that, and the narrow view of what "makes a man" is dumb and categorically untrue in this day and age anyway. NTA They never should have been in a position to keep going. Somehow, they dont understand how serious their actions are. Because frankly, If I was your fianc, stealing the inhaler would have been my breaking point and I would have called off the wedding completely. They will neither sit down nor shut up. You are absolutely correct, there is a big difference between prancing and bullying, and OPs family is on the wrong side of that gap. What is going to happen if you have kids? NTA- tell your Dad you have 0 respect for him and if he needs to bully someone to feel like a real man he needs to realise what a small man he really is. I will also add that, even if it doesnt work out with Tim. Die on this hill. From the get go they assumed that Tim is "less of a manly man than them" so all those "tests and pranks" are just there to humiliate him and stroke their own over inflated ego. (ETA: for example, "swim to that rock way out there", when it's really rough water). Who slashes tyres as a prank? NTA they took the pranks way too far. At the point where youre an adult you should be able to realise that this isnt how you treat people. dad is so mad and now he's getting mom involved to get me to reconsider this decision. Not ok. Also this went way too far. They waited until he went on a trip with them to steal his inhaler. Pretty soon they will be cutting his brake lines to see if he is a real man and can bail out of his car. Cut her some slack. This relationship is toxic for your fianc. Slashing tires and hiding necessary medical equipment are not 'pranks'- they are being wilfully malicious to your fiancee and attempting to pass it off as pranking so you don't call them out for their less-than-human behavior. Maybe see what your cousin has to say (BC the nature of his panicking, it might be that he wants to genuinely apologise, at least that's how I've read it,) but as far as I'm concerned you'd be better cutting them all off. I can't believe he is still there. Honestly that was pretty rude of her but unless her actions were specifically malicious I don't think she is the asshole NAH They also sound horribly insecure. It's helped me to learn how many families with addicts change to fit the addiction. Its fucking property damage! You cant be around these people at all, and you sure as hell cant ask Tim to risk his health and safety for the sake of pretending that your family is just a little quirky or whatever. The spelling errors are driving me insane. On their side it's just righteous indignation. My stepdad and I have a very good relationship. So much this. What if you had a son? NTA. Here's a suggestion tell them that you'll invite them back if they tell a cop exactly what all they did, and ask the cop if it was illegal. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. Nta for revoking their invites. Then NC. Growing up i was a daddy's girl, I was his password, wallpaper and profile picture child. Me, who has autism and still got that: N0oBs, Thank you. No, Tim: No, you wouldnt. Right? If your cousin does want to talk, then I'd set out some serious ground rules first, but let him talk, after all if he is genuinely sorry and willing to admit he was a dick as well as apologise to your fiance then, he deserves a second chance. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. NTA they took the pranks way too far. They have proven they are willing to risk his life. and our Imagine the boundaries theyll cross when you have children! what if he needed his inhaler? I literally freaked out because I definately want my brothers to be at my wedding so badly and I tried talking to them but they were being stubborn, after talking to my fiance I had no choice but to politely uninvite my stepdad and sending him an email stating why. This was them seeing if he would literally die. The question shouldnt be whether or not theyre invited to your wedding. Its not something my doctor (who happens to also have mild asthma of the forget it exists then you get a cold and your inhaler is expired type) and I have put in our shared stories of nearly, but not entirely, outgrown asthma. All of them can go fuck themselves. Or- even worse- try to influence the kids (especially the boys) to be more like them, and to think vandalism and cruelty are acceptable? Be basically disowned his great grandparents and is very mad that my mom still does stuff with them. Also expect your mom might say she isn't going if they don't. Id cut this family off completely. I really hope they paid for the damage when they slashed his tyres. Seriously. Tow it to a tire shop. They dont need to be all macho and emotionally stunted like your dad and family seem to be. Stuck to your guns, your poor finance has been through more than enough and must really love you to have tolerated this bullshit. Exactly. I would consider reinviting anyone who actually apologizes to him, without your prompts. NTA. I feel like the AH because I overreacted and probably couldve compromised for a day. The first year i was on the rocks with my mom so i invited my dad and his gf, the next year however i was good with everyone and invited my mom and my dad. You think they wanted to hear he was FOR gender equality? Before or after he passed out/died? Shits expensive. NTA Your poor fianc has been suffering. Taking away someone inhaler is life threatening. Do they realize that your fiance could have died? Or he leaves her, and her family continues driving away every decent person until she finally ends up with someone as abusive as they are. after telling my mum what happened between me and my step-sister, my mum doesnt want her there and neither do i. neither does my step-dad, either. And honestly? I hadnt thought about it in those terms, but that is exactly what they were doing. This could have escalated into something as harsh as attempted murder. This is the reason to establish care with a trusted GP so that if somethjng goes wrong you aren't in that situation. Lord knows what they will pull on any kids you have. Then turn it around on us like hes the victim. That's when I stopped searching. My asthma isn't terrible but I'd be fuming if someone dared to put me in the danger of not being able to breathe properly. And to add, men who are testing his manliness are the exact kind of men that dont have a clue what it means to be a real man. They have already stated they do not respect your life partner. First have the conversation with your fianc if he even wants them there. No adult man wants some rando on the internet trying to convince people his name means he's immature or not "man enough". Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Slashing tires would definitely cost someone hundreds of dollars to replace. Cut those degenerates out of your life! People really underestimate how fatal an asthma attack is. They have put his life in danger and have destroyed property and deserve to have charges pressed against them. Why isnt this the top comment? Your male family members sound like toxic sexist AH, who love bullying under the pretense of how manly they are. See how man enough they are for the legal system. Have a list and a security guard and be ready to call the police if they show up. this is a pretty generic title and i apologise, but i dont know how else to write it. Obviously plenty of couples choose to be childfree or go for adoption, but if OP wants to have biological children with her husband then can she really leave them in the care of her parents knowing that an asthma attack will be treated as "learn to breathe better you whiny brat"? He was my hero. That's all I think I can say about it without this getting removed, nor does it have to do with the post farther than him being gone. The replies here are really inconsiderate. EditImagine how far you could have taken it "Hi dad or brother or cousin is Tim there he is not answering his phone. What do you mean he leftOK no worries I will wait till he gets home. Rip out the engines with a crane/lift and angle-grinder, to see if they fix it themself or they are lazy people.. That's idiotic. He didn't drive a wedge, they did! She's growing as a person and learning how to step up for her new family. These are not funny pranks, these are "how much will you take?" Even if it did though, so what? The fact youre questioning if youre the asshole in this scenario is concerning. We haven't spoken in months at this point which was quite standard but I invited him to attend. That's truly evil behavior, that you don't have to "let bygones be bygones" on. Like if NTA was like the golden buzzer in Got Talent, OP would still be NTA. They should deal with the consequences. Life saving medication! Does he have to die before you're willing to go no contact? It's also why women who get married have a lower life expectancy. NTA. And now youre questioning whether youre the asshole for uninviting them to your wedding?! This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. YTA for letting this happen to your fianc. ESH. Your family went in the bullying / torture zone with their pranks. Its not like they had OPs permission or OPs husband is a toddler that cannot speak up for himself. REAL men's lips turn red like the blood of our poached kill!!". What happens when they want to start testing the manliness of a child and start with these pranks? Jesus. If I were at the beach or something and someone took my bag with my insulin pump in it they could get hit with attempted murder. Im sorry but the men in your life sound like misogynist AHs, leave them in the dust where they belong. thank you for ur reply! Your family straight trash sorry. A girl I know died because she was alone in her hotel room and couldn't reach her inhaler. I thought that's the person doing the work, just wasn't sure where he'd be working; sometimes my English just says bye haha, Mechanic is a good word! These aren't pranks, these are attacks. At my birthday they got me a PS5 last year and a new Xbox this year. My brother would probably fight someone over slashing his tires. You're not exaggerating. Oh man I just had a discussion about this with two guys in their 50s giving me shit for seeing a doctor and getting a check up. His lips are turning purple! It, however, turned into full no contact with my family back when I went to college the first time. We have been together for 10.5 years and they have gotten to see him less than 10 times total. You need to make your choice now, its your family - who will probably run off any other man you bring home unless they're as messed up as your family - or your fiance. Theyll make your partners life a misery and at some point youd be forced to choose so you might as well choose your husband-to-be upfront. I, 22f, and my dad have had a tumultuous relationship for the last 5 years. He needs that to live! Honestly.. ESH except for your fianc because you let them abuse him for so long. This doesnt sound like pranking but more like bullying. Your husband shouldn't have to deal with them ever again and you don't want that toxic masculinity around your future kids. Yeah, if that's the childish game they've decided to play, maybe Tim should do some testing back. Those men are the picture perfect definition of toxic masculinity. Mens mental health is important! ^ This exactly. Your cousin, brother, uncle and dad are TA for what they have done. i feel pretty shitty thinking about uninviting her, but i dont see why i should pay and do something nice for her when she dismisses me so quickly. They could have killed him. Fucking abuse. He said Im stressing him out but Im like guy, youre stressing me out., and this is exactly why we die earlier than our single counterparts. NTA but that will change in a hurry if you ever expose your fianc to any of these people again. The critical thing here is that OP HAS learned that this behavior isn't ok. Good job, OP, for defending your (edit: future) spouse against the abusive men in your family. No, they had to literally endanger his life and/or health before you took this seriously. I hope her step dad has the good sense to withdraw his financial support from the wedding. Whats up with their strange view on masculinity? This is what I was thinking. I'd be pissed if one of my in-laws slashed them as a "prank". Dean and Kevin never had a good relationship because they never wanted my mom and dad to separate in the first place, they resented my stepdad and limitied contact once they moved out. Indeed and "it's just stuff men do..' No, no it isn't. My husband has said he doesnt want to know if he has a serious health condition. These are not pranks. Itll suck, but sounds like theyre quite toxic and you have the awareness to recognize it. I'd go no contact over this. It was not fun. I do not understand how they were not uninvited after the tire slashing. This is no joke. When the complain have him directly tell them to stop whining and take it like men do. In my family we tease each other and play jokes and trust me this is not what we do! I told my mom about getting ready for graduation, but that he was not invited. I'd be calling the cops. The family is lucky they haven't called for a restraining order. Exactly. I don't think I am the asshole because I suffered years of his abuse and don't feel I deserve to be spoken to like that. Jesus christ NTA they sound awful. Being in a good mood I went on a websearch to add some examples of that having happened. Screw the wedding, you should never speak to these people again. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Please dont cave, your fianc deserves to have that bullshit stay far away from him. Her brothers don't care enough to be in her wedding if they are in the same room as another person they don't like. Theyd be lucky if being disinvited was the worst thing youd do to them. These men need help. There was nothing boarderline about this it was harassment and they endangered his life on purpose. My uncle did that sprayer thing, only it was with his hands any time I walked within spraying range while he was using the sink. So no harm in going the legal route. Honestly if I were your fiance I wouldn't even want to marry into that nonsense. Thats a lifesaving (in some cases) medication. It's 100% just asshole bullying. My own family has a long history of addiction. This is extremely serious; he could have died. Arent we trying to advocate for mens mental health? NTA. NTA- my husband has asthma and they could have killed him. Send them a video of a grown man having an asthma attack. I don't know how mild/severe his asthma is. Your family is driving the wedge. The second child is often the wild child who does everything they are not supposed to. I am assuming your fiance has been putting up with this out of respect for you and your family. Exactly. You're actually still nice in my opinion and your family members are AHs, including your mum to be honest! NTA for uninviting them. That's an asthma attack that could turn into a tragedy. Am I crazy or is OPs bf a saint for putting up with this for so long? Like a mechanic, finds whats wrong then fixes. I will say though - you NEED to go to bat for him more. So basically your family members thought it'd be funny to see him end up in a life threatening situation. And they think they are adults. Dad is flat out saying he will never respect OPs husband. It's no joke and can be severely deadly. You're NTA. I'm so sorry you're going through this OP. I'm almost done and it's been a lifelong dream of my mother's to have her children graduate from college. NTA. Thats near abuse. OP, I'm sorry you grew up in such a toxic-masculine environment. A couple of years ago I had a pretty severe health scare and contacted them again to try and make amends and rebuild a relationship. Maybe consider going LC/NC for a while. NTA at all. Canadian? 3 months from diagnosis to dead. I usually dont agree with people on this sub when they say to cut people off for the simplest of transgressions, but this is more severe. Welcome to the end times. Please evaluate whether you want them in your life. NTA, and honestly I'd go no contact until they grow the fuck up. This has to be fake. Imagine kids growing in a family where grampa insists on teaching him "hOw tO Be a MaN, beCauSE HiS fatHer iS sOft". Do you live in some backwoods place? This is bullying. I wouldnt only ban them from my wedding Id stop talking to them entirely. Side note!!! I think you all let it go to far before you stood up for him. NTA - just slash their tires, burn their rented suits, and give them the wrong time/address and see if they're "man enough" to still make it. You just gotta stop being so sensitive. A semester later and he said I had to pay for the full amount because I wasn't getting straight A's, which was true because I was exhausted. Best of luck!! He said that he didn't reply but later I got a call from my mom yelling at me calling me hurtful stuff saying I was acting like an ungrateful b by excluding her husband from the wedding after everything he's done for me, I told her that my brothers threatened not to come which pushed me to make this difficult dicision because if it was for me I'd have everyone there. Dont fuck with my medicine. if someone going to collage is all they need to get set off on this super insercure episode those are people i would not want to be around. OP's family are criminal thugs who are endangering his life. NTA, I have asthma and that's no joke. The offending pranksters would have gotten a bill from us. That would instantly be NC for me. NTA. Your family for obvious reasons, and you for letting this go on for that long and being spineless enough to not put boundaries earlier. And asking for help instead of making a mistake that can be hella dangerous on the road is lazy?? Theyre not used to anyone standing up to them. 5th house stellium meaning; how to handle being dumped with dignity; send a wave on facebook; international scout.He wrote: " AITA for uninviting my mom from my . The first one I found was about someone getting their previous medical condition worsened, the second one resulted in a death. Honestly, if I were your fiance, I'd have left when you showed through your actions that's it's ok for your family to SLASH HIS TIRES. Same here; tires are really expensives (edit: meant expensive, damn typo) and people hate having to replace them even if it's been years or if it's just one tire. the stuff in the first paragraph was bullying but hiding his inhaler? I f22 grew up in a family where men prank and tease each others. Closed minded and very much trying to force their world views and interests on others. This wasn't a prank. AITA for uninviting my dad from my graduation and telling him I never want to see him again? Slashing tires and deliberately hiding people's life-saving medications are not pranks - hold your ground and keep them out! Truth is Timmy no longer feels comfortable being around them so this is saying something but he says he doesn't want to drive a wedge between me and my family. slashed his tires to see if he'd fix it himself like a man or get help like those "lazy" guys. TBH, if I were your fianc, I'd probably end the relationship if you DONT go NC with them, because they're literally dangerous to him. So very, very not normal. NTA ! Of course hes not going to tell you not to see your family anymore; that would be controlling and inappropriate. Honestly the fact that you're asking that question makes me wanna call you an asshole. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Your question shouldn't be about uninviting your asshole family, it should be It took loads of therapy to decondition myself from my mon's gaslighting and manipulative ways, and it wasn't half as bad as all the toxicity going on in OP's family. And even then, if someone gets seriously freaked out (as opposed to just startled), you apologize and never do it again. I would have left a long time ago. Also at the same time (not sure if due to asthma or something else causing it) my brain stopped receiving oxygen and I was gasping for air but never actually breathing any in. OP needs to go no contact with these Neanderthals if she wants to marry this poor guy. What they did was incredibly stupid. The fact that your dad said that he would apologize if he "had to" is disturbing. Slashing his tires? Its just a joke is just the typical response to make it seem less harmful and make the victim out to be exaggerating. What the fuck is wrong with these people? NTA. What if he had an asthma attack? They also tested his fishing and hunting skills, overwhelmed him with hypothetical scenarios to test his decision making abilities/mental strength. You know what you should do if you have a family full of bullies? tell your bf to call the cops and get them arrested for the tire slashing. Id make a police report and go no contact. Stand your ground and move on with your life. Ngl he did what he could to help me out with school and everything, he even offered to fund my wedding which is going to be in 5 weeks time and I'm very grateful for that though this was his decision. Keep the fiance and his family and go NC with yours because YIKES. My brother freaked out saying it was a prank and they were going to give it back, Dad said they'll apologize if I insist but Tim will have lost the little respect they'd gained for him and in their eyes will always be "the soft college kid" who's not up for the challenge. If you dont do something, youre going to lose him. I thought the exact same thing. i cant blame OP because she is too young, she cant probably go no contact with them and the fiance would be in worse situations after the wedding.
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by aita for uninviting my stepdad
If I am being 100% honest with you, if I my in-laws had treated me the way your family have treated your partner, I would not have married him. Call them out intellectually or use their fear against them they retract. NTA. NTA for uninviting them to the wedding but you are huge AH for not shutting their antics down sooner and continuing to subject Tim to these bullies. This is childish. In these sort of situations whatever he does will never be enough to measure up to people like that, and the narrow view of what "makes a man" is dumb and categorically untrue in this day and age anyway. NTA They never should have been in a position to keep going. Somehow, they dont understand how serious their actions are. Because frankly, If I was your fianc, stealing the inhaler would have been my breaking point and I would have called off the wedding completely. They will neither sit down nor shut up. You are absolutely correct, there is a big difference between prancing and bullying, and OPs family is on the wrong side of that gap. What is going to happen if you have kids? NTA- tell your Dad you have 0 respect for him and if he needs to bully someone to feel like a real man he needs to realise what a small man he really is. I will also add that, even if it doesnt work out with Tim. Die on this hill. From the get go they assumed that Tim is "less of a manly man than them" so all those "tests and pranks" are just there to humiliate him and stroke their own over inflated ego. (ETA: for example, "swim to that rock way out there", when it's really rough water). Who slashes tyres as a prank? NTA they took the pranks way too far. At the point where youre an adult you should be able to realise that this isnt how you treat people. dad is so mad and now he's getting mom involved to get me to reconsider this decision. Not ok. Also this went way too far. They waited until he went on a trip with them to steal his inhaler. Pretty soon they will be cutting his brake lines to see if he is a real man and can bail out of his car. Cut her some slack. This relationship is toxic for your fianc. Slashing tires and hiding necessary medical equipment are not 'pranks'- they are being wilfully malicious to your fiancee and attempting to pass it off as pranking so you don't call them out for their less-than-human behavior. Maybe see what your cousin has to say (BC the nature of his panicking, it might be that he wants to genuinely apologise, at least that's how I've read it,) but as far as I'm concerned you'd be better cutting them all off. I can't believe he is still there. Honestly that was pretty rude of her but unless her actions were specifically malicious I don't think she is the asshole NAH They also sound horribly insecure. It's helped me to learn how many families with addicts change to fit the addiction. Its fucking property damage! You cant be around these people at all, and you sure as hell cant ask Tim to risk his health and safety for the sake of pretending that your family is just a little quirky or whatever. The spelling errors are driving me insane. On their side it's just righteous indignation. My stepdad and I have a very good relationship. So much this. What if you had a son? NTA. Here's a suggestion tell them that you'll invite them back if they tell a cop exactly what all they did, and ask the cop if it was illegal. Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. Nta for revoking their invites. Then NC. Growing up i was a daddy's girl, I was his password, wallpaper and profile picture child. Me, who has autism and still got that: N0oBs, Thank you. No, Tim: No, you wouldnt. Right? If your cousin does want to talk, then I'd set out some serious ground rules first, but let him talk, after all if he is genuinely sorry and willing to admit he was a dick as well as apologise to your fiance then, he deserves a second chance. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. NTA they took the pranks way too far. They have proven they are willing to risk his life. and our Imagine the boundaries theyll cross when you have children! what if he needed his inhaler? I literally freaked out because I definately want my brothers to be at my wedding so badly and I tried talking to them but they were being stubborn, after talking to my fiance I had no choice but to politely uninvite my stepdad and sending him an email stating why. This was them seeing if he would literally die. The question shouldnt be whether or not theyre invited to your wedding. Its not something my doctor (who happens to also have mild asthma of the forget it exists then you get a cold and your inhaler is expired type) and I have put in our shared stories of nearly, but not entirely, outgrown asthma. All of them can go fuck themselves. Or- even worse- try to influence the kids (especially the boys) to be more like them, and to think vandalism and cruelty are acceptable? Be basically disowned his great grandparents and is very mad that my mom still does stuff with them. Also expect your mom might say she isn't going if they don't. Id cut this family off completely. I really hope they paid for the damage when they slashed his tyres. Seriously. Tow it to a tire shop. They dont need to be all macho and emotionally stunted like your dad and family seem to be. Stuck to your guns, your poor finance has been through more than enough and must really love you to have tolerated this bullshit. Exactly. I would consider reinviting anyone who actually apologizes to him, without your prompts. NTA. I feel like the AH because I overreacted and probably couldve compromised for a day. The first year i was on the rocks with my mom so i invited my dad and his gf, the next year however i was good with everyone and invited my mom and my dad. You think they wanted to hear he was FOR gender equality? Before or after he passed out/died? Shits expensive. NTA Your poor fianc has been suffering. Taking away someone inhaler is life threatening. Do they realize that your fiance could have died? Or he leaves her, and her family continues driving away every decent person until she finally ends up with someone as abusive as they are. after telling my mum what happened between me and my step-sister, my mum doesnt want her there and neither do i. neither does my step-dad, either. And honestly? I hadnt thought about it in those terms, but that is exactly what they were doing. This could have escalated into something as harsh as attempted murder. This is the reason to establish care with a trusted GP so that if somethjng goes wrong you aren't in that situation. Lord knows what they will pull on any kids you have. Then turn it around on us like hes the victim. That's when I stopped searching. My asthma isn't terrible but I'd be fuming if someone dared to put me in the danger of not being able to breathe properly. And to add, men who are testing his manliness are the exact kind of men that dont have a clue what it means to be a real man. They have already stated they do not respect your life partner. First have the conversation with your fianc if he even wants them there. No adult man wants some rando on the internet trying to convince people his name means he's immature or not "man enough". Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Slashing tires would definitely cost someone hundreds of dollars to replace. Cut those degenerates out of your life! People really underestimate how fatal an asthma attack is. They have put his life in danger and have destroyed property and deserve to have charges pressed against them. Why isnt this the top comment? Your male family members sound like toxic sexist AH, who love bullying under the pretense of how manly they are. See how man enough they are for the legal system. Have a list and a security guard and be ready to call the police if they show up. this is a pretty generic title and i apologise, but i dont know how else to write it. Obviously plenty of couples choose to be childfree or go for adoption, but if OP wants to have biological children with her husband then can she really leave them in the care of her parents knowing that an asthma attack will be treated as "learn to breathe better you whiny brat"? He was my hero. That's all I think I can say about it without this getting removed, nor does it have to do with the post farther than him being gone. The replies here are really inconsiderate. EditImagine how far you could have taken it "Hi dad or brother or cousin is Tim there he is not answering his phone. What do you mean he leftOK no worries I will wait till he gets home. Rip out the engines with a crane/lift and angle-grinder, to see if they fix it themself or they are lazy people.. That's idiotic. He didn't drive a wedge, they did! She's growing as a person and learning how to step up for her new family. These are not funny pranks, these are "how much will you take?" Even if it did though, so what? The fact youre questioning if youre the asshole in this scenario is concerning. We haven't spoken in months at this point which was quite standard but I invited him to attend. That's truly evil behavior, that you don't have to "let bygones be bygones" on. Like if NTA was like the golden buzzer in Got Talent, OP would still be NTA. They should deal with the consequences. Life saving medication! Does he have to die before you're willing to go no contact? It's also why women who get married have a lower life expectancy. NTA. And now youre questioning whether youre the asshole for uninviting them to your wedding?! This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. YTA for letting this happen to your fianc. ESH. Your family went in the bullying / torture zone with their pranks. Its not like they had OPs permission or OPs husband is a toddler that cannot speak up for himself. REAL men's lips turn red like the blood of our poached kill!!". What happens when they want to start testing the manliness of a child and start with these pranks? Jesus. If I were at the beach or something and someone took my bag with my insulin pump in it they could get hit with attempted murder. Im sorry but the men in your life sound like misogynist AHs, leave them in the dust where they belong. thank you for ur reply! Your family straight trash sorry. A girl I know died because she was alone in her hotel room and couldn't reach her inhaler. I thought that's the person doing the work, just wasn't sure where he'd be working; sometimes my English just says bye haha, Mechanic is a good word! These aren't pranks, these are attacks. At my birthday they got me a PS5 last year and a new Xbox this year. My brother would probably fight someone over slashing his tires. You're not exaggerating. Oh man I just had a discussion about this with two guys in their 50s giving me shit for seeing a doctor and getting a check up. His lips are turning purple! It, however, turned into full no contact with my family back when I went to college the first time. We have been together for 10.5 years and they have gotten to see him less than 10 times total. You need to make your choice now, its your family - who will probably run off any other man you bring home unless they're as messed up as your family - or your fiance. Theyll make your partners life a misery and at some point youd be forced to choose so you might as well choose your husband-to-be upfront. I, 22f, and my dad have had a tumultuous relationship for the last 5 years. He needs that to live! Honestly.. ESH except for your fianc because you let them abuse him for so long. This doesnt sound like pranking but more like bullying. Your husband shouldn't have to deal with them ever again and you don't want that toxic masculinity around your future kids. Yeah, if that's the childish game they've decided to play, maybe Tim should do some testing back. Those men are the picture perfect definition of toxic masculinity. Mens mental health is important! ^ This exactly. Your cousin, brother, uncle and dad are TA for what they have done. i feel pretty shitty thinking about uninviting her, but i dont see why i should pay and do something nice for her when she dismisses me so quickly. They could have killed him. Fucking abuse. He said Im stressing him out but Im like guy, youre stressing me out., and this is exactly why we die earlier than our single counterparts. NTA but that will change in a hurry if you ever expose your fianc to any of these people again. The critical thing here is that OP HAS learned that this behavior isn't ok. Good job, OP, for defending your (edit: future) spouse against the abusive men in your family. No, they had to literally endanger his life and/or health before you took this seriously. I hope her step dad has the good sense to withdraw his financial support from the wedding. Whats up with their strange view on masculinity? This is what I was thinking. I'd be pissed if one of my in-laws slashed them as a "prank". Dean and Kevin never had a good relationship because they never wanted my mom and dad to separate in the first place, they resented my stepdad and limitied contact once they moved out. Indeed and "it's just stuff men do..' No, no it isn't. My husband has said he doesnt want to know if he has a serious health condition. These are not pranks. Itll suck, but sounds like theyre quite toxic and you have the awareness to recognize it. I'd go no contact over this. It was not fun. I do not understand how they were not uninvited after the tire slashing. This is no joke. When the complain have him directly tell them to stop whining and take it like men do. In my family we tease each other and play jokes and trust me this is not what we do! I told my mom about getting ready for graduation, but that he was not invited. I'd be calling the cops. The family is lucky they haven't called for a restraining order. Exactly. I don't think I am the asshole because I suffered years of his abuse and don't feel I deserve to be spoken to like that. Jesus christ NTA they sound awful. Being in a good mood I went on a websearch to add some examples of that having happened. Screw the wedding, you should never speak to these people again. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Please dont cave, your fianc deserves to have that bullshit stay far away from him. Her brothers don't care enough to be in her wedding if they are in the same room as another person they don't like. Theyd be lucky if being disinvited was the worst thing youd do to them. These men need help. There was nothing boarderline about this it was harassment and they endangered his life on purpose. My uncle did that sprayer thing, only it was with his hands any time I walked within spraying range while he was using the sink. So no harm in going the legal route. Honestly if I were your fiance I wouldn't even want to marry into that nonsense. Thats a lifesaving (in some cases) medication. It's 100% just asshole bullying. My own family has a long history of addiction. This is extremely serious; he could have died. Arent we trying to advocate for mens mental health? NTA. NTA- my husband has asthma and they could have killed him. Send them a video of a grown man having an asthma attack. I don't know how mild/severe his asthma is. Your family is driving the wedge. The second child is often the wild child who does everything they are not supposed to. I am assuming your fiance has been putting up with this out of respect for you and your family. Exactly. You're actually still nice in my opinion and your family members are AHs, including your mum to be honest! NTA for uninviting them. That's an asthma attack that could turn into a tragedy. Am I crazy or is OPs bf a saint for putting up with this for so long? Like a mechanic, finds whats wrong then fixes. I will say though - you NEED to go to bat for him more. So basically your family members thought it'd be funny to see him end up in a life threatening situation. And they think they are adults. Dad is flat out saying he will never respect OPs husband. It's no joke and can be severely deadly. You're NTA. I'm so sorry you're going through this OP. I'm almost done and it's been a lifelong dream of my mother's to have her children graduate from college. NTA. Thats near abuse. OP, I'm sorry you grew up in such a toxic-masculine environment. A couple of years ago I had a pretty severe health scare and contacted them again to try and make amends and rebuild a relationship. Maybe consider going LC/NC for a while. NTA at all. Canadian? 3 months from diagnosis to dead. I usually dont agree with people on this sub when they say to cut people off for the simplest of transgressions, but this is more severe. Welcome to the end times. Please evaluate whether you want them in your life. NTA, and honestly I'd go no contact until they grow the fuck up. This has to be fake. Imagine kids growing in a family where grampa insists on teaching him "hOw tO Be a MaN, beCauSE HiS fatHer iS sOft". Do you live in some backwoods place? This is bullying. I wouldnt only ban them from my wedding Id stop talking to them entirely. Side note!!! I think you all let it go to far before you stood up for him. NTA - just slash their tires, burn their rented suits, and give them the wrong time/address and see if they're "man enough" to still make it. You just gotta stop being so sensitive. A semester later and he said I had to pay for the full amount because I wasn't getting straight A's, which was true because I was exhausted. Best of luck!! He said that he didn't reply but later I got a call from my mom yelling at me calling me hurtful stuff saying I was acting like an ungrateful b by excluding her husband from the wedding after everything he's done for me, I told her that my brothers threatened not to come which pushed me to make this difficult dicision because if it was for me I'd have everyone there. Dont fuck with my medicine. if someone going to collage is all they need to get set off on this super insercure episode those are people i would not want to be around. OP's family are criminal thugs who are endangering his life. NTA, I have asthma and that's no joke. The offending pranksters would have gotten a bill from us. That would instantly be NC for me. NTA. Your family for obvious reasons, and you for letting this go on for that long and being spineless enough to not put boundaries earlier. And asking for help instead of making a mistake that can be hella dangerous on the road is lazy?? Theyre not used to anyone standing up to them. 5th house stellium meaning; how to handle being dumped with dignity; send a wave on facebook; international scout.He wrote: " AITA for uninviting my mom from my . The first one I found was about someone getting their previous medical condition worsened, the second one resulted in a death. Honestly, if I were your fiance, I'd have left when you showed through your actions that's it's ok for your family to SLASH HIS TIRES. Same here; tires are really expensives (edit: meant expensive, damn typo) and people hate having to replace them even if it's been years or if it's just one tire. the stuff in the first paragraph was bullying but hiding his inhaler? I f22 grew up in a family where men prank and tease each others. Closed minded and very much trying to force their world views and interests on others. This wasn't a prank. AITA for uninviting my dad from my graduation and telling him I never want to see him again? Slashing tires and deliberately hiding people's life-saving medications are not pranks - hold your ground and keep them out! Truth is Timmy no longer feels comfortable being around them so this is saying something but he says he doesn't want to drive a wedge between me and my family. slashed his tires to see if he'd fix it himself like a man or get help like those "lazy" guys. TBH, if I were your fianc, I'd probably end the relationship if you DONT go NC with them, because they're literally dangerous to him. So very, very not normal. NTA ! Of course hes not going to tell you not to see your family anymore; that would be controlling and inappropriate. Honestly the fact that you're asking that question makes me wanna call you an asshole. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Your question shouldn't be about uninviting your asshole family, it should be It took loads of therapy to decondition myself from my mon's gaslighting and manipulative ways, and it wasn't half as bad as all the toxicity going on in OP's family. And even then, if someone gets seriously freaked out (as opposed to just startled), you apologize and never do it again. I would have left a long time ago. Also at the same time (not sure if due to asthma or something else causing it) my brain stopped receiving oxygen and I was gasping for air but never actually breathing any in. OP needs to go no contact with these Neanderthals if she wants to marry this poor guy. What they did was incredibly stupid. The fact that your dad said that he would apologize if he "had to" is disturbing. Slashing his tires? Its just a joke is just the typical response to make it seem less harmful and make the victim out to be exaggerating. What the fuck is wrong with these people? NTA. What if he had an asthma attack? They also tested his fishing and hunting skills, overwhelmed him with hypothetical scenarios to test his decision making abilities/mental strength. You know what you should do if you have a family full of bullies? tell your bf to call the cops and get them arrested for the tire slashing. Id make a police report and go no contact. Stand your ground and move on with your life. Ngl he did what he could to help me out with school and everything, he even offered to fund my wedding which is going to be in 5 weeks time and I'm very grateful for that though this was his decision. Keep the fiance and his family and go NC with yours because YIKES. My brother freaked out saying it was a prank and they were going to give it back, Dad said they'll apologize if I insist but Tim will have lost the little respect they'd gained for him and in their eyes will always be "the soft college kid" who's not up for the challenge. If you dont do something, youre going to lose him. I thought the exact same thing. i cant blame OP because she is too young, she cant probably go no contact with them and the fiance would be in worse situations after the wedding.
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