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Those are all the things I think about when I watch Santana strut down the theatres aisle singing (gasp!) I mean, at some point I must have liked that you look like a taco addict who's had one too many back alley liposuctions. Would be glad if someone could prove me wrong, but our queer womens stories being told explicitly on TV and film is so young that Naya, as far as I can think, is the first actress who played gay in a big way to die. SANTANA: I'm keepin' it real. In that case, I would like to send one to my girlfriend, Brittany. Aren't you were paying. Like that whole top row. By our I mean my friends and I but probably you and your friends too. Loving Glee, a show that was decidedly out of the ordinary and something that a lot of people in my life looked down on, was considered weird and nerdy and after years of trying to blend in, Glee made me ready to stand out. When Im with Brittany, I finally understand what people are talking about when they talk about love. Okay, okay. Sometimes you hear it on the loudspeakers at Home Goods and feel like complaining to the manager for inappropriate context, but when its on in your car or at a party or a club its exhilarating and obviously very topical. I like yeast in my bagel but not in my muffin. I'm trying to apologize to Lumps The Clown. I wants on them froggy lips, and I wants on them now. feels like a fever dream that does NOT have a, I love this, please let me read your kinky biography. If its not, well, I dont even know. Our TV Team has spent the last two weeks reliving some of our favorite moments from Naya Riveras world-changing work on Glee. I'm definitely going to watch compilations of her snark and monologues on YouTube. Investigating the mystery of God-could-you-be-more-annoying? Well, Id like to think that we now carry your heart in our hearts, Naya. Santana: Those are your nipples. You wont be forgotten. Quinn: Do you want me to slap you again? I hope she wouldve found it exhilarating. (murmurs) Self-hating Asian. Mr. Schue: Wait, what? (After losing a fight with Lauren) That's how we do it in Lima Heights! Mr. When you look back you see that those pursuits were always part of a game, a trick, a strategy, a story, a status grab. When we had sex, Finn never stopped asking me if I was okay the whole time. Santana: Yeah, I do. NOTE: The following is a transcription of the extended director's cut from the S1 DVD, which includes several scenes not seen in the original aired version. Santana: Just because I hate everyone doesn't mean they have to hate me too. Santana to Brittany and Sam, Blame It on the Alcohol. Santana calling Rachel a 'selfish, self-centered, lame-ass wannabe diva from hell' in the prom rant is perhaps the most accurate statement from the entire show. Rachel: You had no right. This is it. All those in favor of voting Rachel down a second time? You can trust me, just tell me what's going on. Santana: Not just the school, you idiot. Enjoy it while you can, Weezy. Kurt: We had a pact. Santana: Yup, sure did. You're a genius, Brittany. Santana: Thanks. But we did get this number and its just so beautiful. And I think of all the things, what youre doing, and in my head I paint a picture.. When I was 13 I was due to go to school camp during the 2002 Mens World Cup. Kurt and Blaine start by singing a cloying duet of Pnks Perfect. Everybody is smiling and clapping and even Santana has a grin on her face. Hey! by saphireheart12 on desktop and mobile. A sex-tape that follows me around to this very day.Look up at my in the internet right now. Kurt: She can't find out until after her Funny Girl audition, alright? Every day just feels like a war. Like damn, I am so gay but those two dancing does something to me. You know with all the horrible crap Ive been through in my life now I get to add that. Her little applause after is just perfect. Its hard to pick a favorite Santana solo, but I think its gotta be Songbird, for me, both for Santnas story arc and for Naya Riveras performance. She seems to be condoning this in the face of all logic. Because even when Glee was at its worst, Santana always seemed to be the voice of reason. For me, she really was the true star of that show. of the gay rights movement every time you so much as cooked macaroni and They were never about the kind of love she feels for Brittany, or even how she felt about Dani. Brittany: Did you see what Rachel was wearing today? All day every day. Brittany: I have pepperoni in my bra. I've had mono so many times it turned into stereo. Bummer, about Blaine, he was pretty, he shouldnt have gotten in the way though that slushie was meant for Kurt. I have such vivid memories of Landslide. Like, a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head. It's the best part of my day, okay? Santana: A star is a star, it doesn't matter where in the sky it shine. Santana: Oh, I know! Now Santana and I are like Almond Joy and you're like a Jolly Rancher that fell in the ashtray. You are a beautiful person. Go. Here she goes, making me regret voting for her. (slaps Quinn across face) Quinn: You can't hit me! But I'm afraid of the talks and the looks. This is it. I'm from Lima Heights, I was raised on insults. Ive often described that while watching this scene I wept, which is true. There exists a third version of the pilot, the screener version, with even more scenes cut from the aired version. I loved Buffy growing up, but I quickly learned that not everyone was into cheesy sci-fi, and nerd wasnt exactly a badge of honor in the 90s/early 2000s, so I only mentioned Buffy to people who mentioned it to me first. So why am I talking about this? Elliott: You know I'm actually just here to get her sheet music. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features Press Copyright Contact us Creators . And he meant it. But nothing is as eternally hilarious to me maybe on TV ever as Santanas Yeast-I-Stat commercial. this definitely makes me more curious about visiting Miami! Every time he opens his dream boat acapella mouth, you're just itching to kick him right in the Warblers. Brittany: Sweet lady kisses. Unmatched sass and the best . Santana: I want to be with you. Felt Santanas pain and love and vulnerability so much, it was just so raw, so real and so genuine. Soy de Lima Heights Adjacent y yo tengo orgullo! #monologues Topless is as nude as anyone is ever gonna want to see you. Hi DM! I meant, it's a Win-Win for me. Its really different, but seeing another Latina women stand up for herself and her culture was so validating to my lived experiences. I just see someone who I may or may not have to destroy.So if you ever tell me what to do I will END you! Its pure joy and when I think of Naya Rivera as Santana Lopez what I feel is joy. This is embarrassing. It's okay. The pain I had as I realized how many times I had repeated that same line to my closest friends, the ones I had always been in love with, the ones I would have been terrified to admit that were true if asked. Well I dont give a hot wet monkeys ass what you care for. the glee fandom was my solace during one of the lowest points in my life, and its so hard to articulate just how massive of an impact Naya as Santana had on me, on my friends, on lesbian representation on television as a whole, to people who didnt experience it or who arent part of the lgbtq+ community. Your bizarre, psychosexual obsession with that Glee Club was disturbing from the first moment you stalked a nude student in the showers. What if I just told your BFF about her BF and his man-whoring ways? Santana to Sue and New Directions, Extraordinary Merry Christmas. Brittany: It's just a stupid crown. Panic! Two: you're a bitch and those are my products, okay? I'm a bitch because I'm angry. Santana: Okay, hold up. Instead these two are going to go move to New York City or . Santana: I'm 25. Glee never shied away from making radical changes in characters or basic show universe elements without an explanation or any apparent logic, but they brought Santanas actual written history on the show and she wasnt originally written as gay to bear on her present. I miss you. Santana: I wish you'd hold my hand. Thats when you knew this was going to the next level. Santana: No! Slut. And Naya brought that same joy, that same energy, to the Glee Live tour and I got to be in the very same room with her while she sang that song, and its a memory Ill likely never forget. No one in this room can tackle a massive dance number except for Brit. How does that sound? Love to you, your family, your friends, and your sweet boy. But Santana was too bright, too once-in-a-lifetime, and Naya Rivera worked too hard at her career for far too long, taking bit commercials and one-off guest stars since she was a child, for this not to be her moment. This is only temporary. Santana: Now get out of my way please, afores I ends you. Theres a brief moment after Kurt is elected prom queen as a cruel joke that Santana rushes out of the room crying. Santana: First of all, anything you do became my business when you decided to toss that slushie up in my grill. Santana: It was more fun doing it together. Maybe I need someone who knows more than three dance moves: "the finger wag", "the shoulder shimmy" and the one where you pretend to twirl two invisible rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips. I may actually be dead right now. Schuester and Santana, Never Been Kissed. Santana: You may look, like the villain out of a cheesy 80s high school movie, but you should know that Im fully prepared to go all Danny LaRusso on your ass. No actor gave me that kind of depth and emotion on screen before. If he doesnt get it then he doesnt deserve to have you as his campaign manager. Hamburglar Finn is fine. At a time when I mostly only felt dread when I thought about going through life as a lesbian, that performance made me feel hopeful that I would someday be able to openly love someone who openly loved me back. ". And it was uneventful. Ive written a few words already on the coming out scene that resonated with me more than anything before or since. Wherever your soul is, thank you. Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? She's dating Jesse. I mean, bake sales are kind of bougie. I'm looking forward to the day my grandmother loves me again. Sebastian: She questioned my honor. Do you know where she keeps it? Even I felt a little something in my lady loins when he did that magic sex dance. Rachel: Oooh. I wasn't gonna go and mess it up. Gunther: I take this! Its layers upon layers of ridiculousness, but brilliantly so. Santana: And where are the Hardy Boys? She's blond and awesome and so smart. Oh, come on. Santana: I don't really talk during. Maybe that has something to do with it. I think about that scene all the time. Santana: Oh, sure I can. But what makes it iconic for me are the story choices that Naya Rivera makes. And if you tell anyone this, I'll deny it - but I like being in Glee Club. mouth like cats ass. Kurt: Oh, Gershwin song lines scavenger hunt! Also Naya Rivera and Ricky Martins version of La Isla Bonita is one of my favourite Glee songs of all time. Stream Another Quinn Fabray Monologue. Can't tell you how many times I wanted to enjoy a crisp pickle, but couldn't find anyone to suck the lid off the jar. For the Latinx community specifically, Santana was one of the only on-screen depictions of a queer Afro-Latina. Id never heard anyone describe how hard it is quite like this, how violent it feels to yourself, once you know who you are but youre terrified of saying in the world: Ive tried so hard to push this feeling away, and keep it locked inside, but every day just feels like a war. Rachel: Okay, wait. Rory: You're skinny like all the crops failed on your family's farm. Maybe Blaine didnt wanna be with someo, obsession with old people that causes you to sk, you drape yourself on every piano you happen p, one with. Its crazy because I live in the other half of the word, but it felt like losing a friend. Well because I realized the world is even colder than I am. Its one of the least flashy numbers, but one of the best. So get up in my grill, 'cause Brits and I wants to get our anesthesia on. Quinn: Flawless. I'm Hispanic. I was coming out around the same time she was, I was falling in love and having my heart broken right around then, too. Actively pursuing and seducing a series of strapping young men throughout high school is not incongruous with eventually realizing youre gay! Is this not generally understood to be the greatest song Glee ever recorded? Santanas soft uh-oh doesnt come in until the first chorus, but shes all I ever hear. I'll bet Artie's thought about getting his legs removed since he's not really using them anyway. Maybe he got tired of watching I miss this place so much. Santana: You're addicted to vests. Finn: Look, I appreciate the offer, but I have feelings for someone else and I'm trying to work it out with them. Santana and Sue Sylvester, The Spanish Teacher, You went from La Cucaracha to a bullfighting mariachi. Wait, do you honestly think that we can sell twenty thousand pieces of anythings? Santana: That is the lamest thing I didn't understand a word of. Heres whats gonna go down. The kind of lesbians who would allow straight people to wrap themselves up in the cozy fantasy that gay people are just like them. And maybe if you used them, you wouldn't have more oil than the Middle East on your face. Why are we playing this game? Santana: Y-you think that Great Gazoo kid is a leprechaun? Wed love to read your favorite memories in the comments. Puck: We all know why we're here. The way she shoves that bagel in her mouth! Santanas entire story arc mirrored mine in so many ways. Oh, and also? No! Men. Everything you needed to know, every emotion you needed to feel, was emanating from Santana with crystal clearness. Puck: I flex my left pec, then I flex my right pec, and I say to the guy, Leggo my Eggo. And you know what he does? Landslide is still my favorite Glee performance. Because I have all of these feelings. Of all those famous tirades and one-liners, none warms my heart like The only straight I am, is straight up Bitch.. Cookie Notice Santana: That sounds like torture. Heres Naya Rivera, this Black Puerto Rican actress who fought so hard against the producers for Santanas coming out in the first place. I got Sebastian on tape admitting there was rock salt in that slushie that blinded Blaine. You do play for another team.. you were on the Cheerios now you're only in the New Directions Lady Hummel called begging us to do an emergency intervention. How could Brody give all that up? I have known you both for years and I don't like either of you 90% of the time, in fact, your wide-eyed, Keane-painting approach to life makes my teeth hurt and my breasts ache with rage. #teens. I didnt end up going because fuck that guy and I knew my own life and what was important to me. I remember crying as I watched someone I love walk down the aisle to marry the woman of her dreams. Her wrath of words is called Snix Juice. Santana: I'm Rachel Berry, his loud, loud girlfriend. [voiceover] How is this possible? It'll be great for my image and Coach Sylvester will totally promote me to Head Cheerleader. thanks Shelli!! Rachel:Ok You know what Santana, Finn is in great shape and your meanness just highlights your own personal insecurities. obsession with old people that causes you to skulk around nursing homes Santanas wail of, I dont know, toward the end of the song reverberates around my ribcage every time I hear it. See, The Troubletones are three F's, Fierce, Femme, Phenomenal! I just want you. Brittany, that sex tape was private. From Season 6 Episode 3 "Jagged Little Tapestry", aired January 16th, 2015 Life is very high school. Santana: I really hope that's not one of the requirements for Regionals because with Berry and those tights, we don't stand a chance. And I walk around so mad at the world, but Im really just fighting with myself. Glee is very concerned with this idea of the underdog. And Rachel Berry and Kurt Hummel are the shows most prominent underdogs. Also I don't think she was cruel with that rant like some of her others. Admit you put something in that slushie, what was it, huh, glass, asphalt? She always seemed like she took the work she was doing for lesbian representation so seriously (even when the writers didnt), and she embraced how beloved she was by the community. Santana: (laughs) Brittany: That Sour Patch Kids are gummy bears that turn into drugs? And I need to tell you something that I dont know how to say. #acting No one gets it. Thank you, Finn, especially. Can that possibly be true? Santana about Rachel and Kurt, Girls (and Boys) on Film. I used to think it was out of recognition, but now I know it was relief. How is everyone welcome when this is clearly just a party for you and the two gay Winklevii twins? I want bling; I cant be any more specific than that. Rosario Cruz. I've made out with a mannequin. It's gonna be okay. rainbow-colored ribbons attached to your hips, so you know what, maybe All Rights Reserved. Its the dress that sells the song before Santana even opens her mouth. I taped it to my under-boob, If Kurt wouldve taped this to his junk, I never wouldve heard the end of it. aggrandizing lecture about how you felt the two of you were at the very apex And High Art, Kiss Me, When, I also watched Les Filles du Botaniste a few times. When I was 13 Glee was my entire world the show and the cast and their adventures swept me up in a frenzy, the way obsessions do with 13 year olds. We wouldve had a whole week of songs about it. I think I need an agent. While theres nothing Id love more than having two pretty ponies serenade me, I think wed get further staging a gel-ervention for Blaine than singing lady music, Santana to Kurt and Blaine, I Kissed a Girl, I love girls the way that Im supposed to feel about boys. (At the beginning of this year) I hated everyone in this club. Her relationships with men sometimes become more misandric than romantic in retrospect. Santana: Are we dating or what? When Santana and Brittany take her song and flip the pronouns and wear the slinky tube dresses and wrap their curled hair in big bows and it rains glitter and are surrounded by cheerleaders, one of whom has a very alternative lifestyle haircut, and they want to dance with each other? I just can't. Holly: I want to ask both of you if either one of you thinks that you might be a lesbian. I had such a crush on her, and the way she spoke made me feel okay about having a fun, silly crush like the ones my friends had on male celebrities. You are not my principal. Dave: [reluctantly walks away] And Finn deserved the slap in the face Santana jumped off the stage and gave him at the end of the performance. Finn: Because I love her and I don't want to hurt her. Leprechaun, starring a young Jen Aniston, is my favorite movie. Now my suggestion is that we drag him, bound and gagged, to a tattoo parlor for a tramp stamp that reads Tips Appreciated or Congratulations, Youre My 1,000th Customer', Santana to Kurt about Sebastian, Michael. Rachel, Tina and Santana, Special Education. one with. Santana: Booyah. I cant believe its been ten years since this moments happened. And thats a true story, too. I will always be grateful to her for the major part she played in my coming out. Though I don't know whose toxic vagina would need that much of that stuff, I mean if you're producing that much yeast you should probably start a bakery. Or maybe it didn't work out because you're a judgmental little geroniphile (?) Its just something thats always been inside of me and I really want to share it with you because I love you so much. Brittany: God, I'm so sad. We miss you. Your pretty little liar gave them to her. In real life, that absolutely would have happened. And don't tell me it's 'cause the cafeteria food binds you up. Just two cellos, two actors, and a bunch of chairs in an empty room. I'm getting that stinky panic sweat under my boobs. Santana to Gunther, Tina in the Sky with Diamonds. Oh, please! Maybe Blaine got tired of hearing your shrill self- ". You look like an assless J-Lo. I should know, I slept with you. Rachel: Don't get too comfortable, okay? The strive to create a safer, and more comfortable sex-toy shopping experience for the Queer community and more specifically gender non-conforming, trans and non-binary people. I turned on my heels and ran out of there with a quickness, rather than risk the barista seeing me cry in public. The tight clasped hug that comes after, holding on to her best friend for dear life because everything around them is changing and they are each others only certainty. Brittany: Really? I demand satisfaction in Warbler tradition. Emmy Rossum is. She looked like Pippi Longstocking, but like, Israeli. Quinn: Emily Stark. didnt work out because youre a judgmental little geroniphile (?) It will always be amazing to me that a show that I only seriously (obsessively) watched for three season could leave such an indelible mark on my psyche. Sabes lo que pasa en Lima Heights Adjacent? You're joking, right? Santana: Hottest guys in school. Thank you for giving me this space to remember Naya and Santana. But not this. I guess those contracts I signed for those commercials said that I waived my right to residuals, in exchange for a lifetime supply of Yeast-I-Stat. I came out to my mother about a month after Santana came out to her abuela. Yeah, its beautiful, but someones gotta help her cross the street, Santana: Britt, I want to talk about, you know, that thing we never talk about. Santana: Who, Rachel? No Brittany, you have no idea what it's like out there in the real world. Naya, girl, Im just so sorry. with a mouth like cat's ass. The writers probably just wanted an excuse to create a three way parallel of hurt feelings between Kurt, Quinn, and Santana, but Nayas performance justifies and deepens every word. Why would I Why would I want that? So, you know what, maybe that's why it didn't work out. Then Mercedes looks at Santana from the corner of her eye, as if to say Girl can you do this? And Santana gives the smallest nod before the microphone picks up a sigh. Just admit it! I love suckin on those salamander lips. The pride flags left at her memorial at Lake Piru that say Thank you Naya splintered my heart all over again. Holy crap. I ordered shrimp! For your joy, for your talent, for teaching me how to be unapologetic about the things I love. Northmead Creative & Performing Arts High- Drama Audition 2 | P a g e This is for us. Santana: I hate weddings and I Valentine's Day. Maybe he got tired of watching you drape yourself on every piano you happen past to entertain exactly no one with. Santana: You can drill me any time. Santana: Well, that's why I brought you here, to cheer you up. Quinn is all excited about another guy defining her life. Santana: Love stinks. Cant I just have one night where Im queen?. (Listen! Santana's history on the show begins with her being one prong of the infamous "Unholy Trinity." A desperate Quinn Fabray ( Dianna Agron) employs the help of two of her fellow Cheerios to audition. You know, and the only thing that can keep you from freezing to death is to have good friends around you to keep you warm. But I'm all alone, stuck here with you. Rory: Hey, listen here. Santana: Hey Finnocence. Santana to Mr. Schuester, The Rocky Horror Glee Show. Brittany, maybe its just that you are utterly, utterly, intolerable. Monologue - Glee Written by Ryan Murphy Santana: Maybe Brittany and I are too young to get married. Santana: Lets just keep this on point. Santana: Yes I did. Privacy Policy. I was the exact same age as Santana when Glee was airing and going through the most difficult part of my coming out process. Brittany: Yeah, come on, Quinn. Nobody no, nobody is gonna rain on my parade.. Nah na na let me tell you how its gon be if I may..when I look at someone, I don't see someone who looks a certain way or has this or that amount of chromosomes. Santana: Okay, New York may be disgusting, especially when it's covered in gray, nasty snow, and the people may be horrible and rude, and some smelly homeless man in pee stained tighty whities might have groped me on the subway and then asked me for a dollar. What Does The Black Wolf Symbolize In Call Of The Wild, Is Bobo From Duck Dynasty Still Alive, Pnc Unable To Verify Information, Channel 4 F1 Presenters 2022, Articles G